Bibliography:

"Breast Cancer Awareness Month | A Little Bit Better With Keri Glassman."YouTube. YouTube, n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD9HVREnnYs>.

This source provides information about Breast Cancer Awareness Month throughout October. The video is presented by Keri Glassman, who is the founder and president of Nutritious Life in New York City. Glassman, has been leading many females to health and wellness plus encouraging other viewers to learn more information about early detection and ways that people can support the fight towards breast cancer. We know that the disease can be aggressive but the video includes tips and advice, that we should be aware for the ones we love. In the channel ‘Living Strong Women’ organization, the source gives plenty of recommendations and definitely helpful to my capstone.

"Pink Ribbons, Inc. Official Trailer #1 (2012) Breast Cancer Documentary HD." YouTube. YouTube, n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2xY2cxto1M>.

This source is not only an ordinary video, It’s a Breast Cancer documentary. The documentary provides information about marketing campaigns throughout fundraising the awareness. We know that many brands are involved such as New Balance, Fuze, and even the NFL who supports the awareness. Each year, there is an estimation about millions of dollars is raised but the documentary questions, where does the money really go? Is it really donated to the awareness? Are campaigns unfair to Breast Cancer patients? or Does it even achieve? One of the woman in the trailer explains that the disease is able to help raise but also believes that it is being used so that people can profit. It gives good background and helps improve my progress for capstone presentation.

"Breast Cancer - Symptoms and Treatment." YouTube. YouTube, n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsviAPGfPUo>.

I found this source useful because the video includes information about Breast Cancer. The video is basically in a animation and breaks down of how is cancer transfer to a woman body, also it is scanned as a 2D- 3D video. Describing the facts of what females such as the three different types of Breast Cancer, most women should be aware of the life threatening alert and how to prevent the disease is very important. The Health channel gives support throughout the video and believe it is helpful towards the viewers. I personally think, that this video is very useful because when capstone presentations will begin, I would want to give a short summary of what breast cancer is and how many women are affected each year.

"Are We Fighting Breast Cancer All Wrong?" BuzzFeed. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. <http://www.buzzfeed.com/annanorth/are-we-fighting-breast-cancer-all-wrong>.

I found this source useful because it is different from other research that I found and it is an infographic about breast cancer. The infographic questions, are we fight breast cancer all wrong? and how much breast cancer research money is spent on prevention? There is enough statistics to look at and discover how is the money is being used. Such as, $87 million is made by Department of defense of 2011 and only 1.1% has been given towards the prevention and the rest is wasted on treatment and survivor outcomes, etc. Another interesting fact that I am able to use for my capstone is that in 1975, there were 105 reports for each 100,000 women with Breast Cancer and 32 years later in 2007, there were 125 reports per 100,000 women.

"8 Things You Didn’t Know Cause Cancer." BuzzFeed. Mark Celestino, n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. 

<http://www.buzzfeed.com/celestinomark/8-everyday-things-that-may-give-you-cancer#.kxXKDNYXQv>.

I selected this source because I thought it will be helpful that there are secret ways to get cancer, therefore people should be aware of. These are the type of things that people can get cancer easily such as the processed meat of what we eat, popcorn bags since its filled with perfluorooctanoic acid that is basically a toxic, and farmed salmon that is a high risk of cancer, etc. This can be part of my research for my capstone presentation. I would include how much research I have done and possibly show this video if I am able too but will definitely share the information to the viewers.

"Home | Susan G. Komen®." Home | Susan G. Komen®. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. <http://ww5.komen.org/>.

I found this source very helpful because the Susan G. Komen is the main cite that I will follow up everyday for my capstone. I had set up a group account so I can fundraise and join the 5k walk on mothers day. Almost every other two days, I receive updates and reminders about the charity within how I am able to help out the community with survivors but it even sends me short personal stories. Since, I decided to create a gathering call Pink Rockets, this source will honestly be my best friend throughout the year. It will follow me up of how much I will fundraise and how much effort have I gave.

"Breast Cancer." Breast Cancer. American Cancer Society, n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2015. <http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/>.

This source provides information about breast cancer awareness. It is able to help you find support and treatment, exploring research, learning about cancer of what it is exactly, and how to get involved. We may know what cancer is but people must know that this disease is not easy to recover. We love our mothers and other important females in our life, so therefore we should take care of women. The way this source will help me present my capstone is by explaining the audience of why is it important and how it can impact everyone is a certain type of why. Or even, go around to the students and let them share their experiences with this disease because it is always nice to hear short stories. But mostly, this sources will provide many information and lead me to a good path.

"Fight for Ella Fund." N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Jan. 2015. <https://mobile.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_express-checkout-mobile&useraction=commit&token=EC-6SG9750153990851B>.

I selected this source because the link will direct to paypal where students, teachers, and friends will be able to donate to ‘Fight for Ella Fund’. You can donate at any amount as you please towards the fund that will help me for the capstone and the organization. This link will be used in my Capstone presentation and website. I will also post statuses on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr to see if people will participate and have a good heart to donate. At the final product of my capstone, I will announce how much did we raised and what were the goals.

"Breast Cancer For Dummies." Barnes & Noble. Ronit Elk, Monica Morrow M.D., n.d. Web. 30 Jan. 2015. <http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/breast-cancer-for-dummies-ronit-elk/1100578787?ean=9780764524820>.

Not only that I would want to look into online sources, It is always good to find information in text books. This book is called, ‘Breast Cancer for Dummies’. It’s a common book that people always use for any situation or guideline. Since, this is about breast cancer,  it will help me understand a lot better of what is the disease. Some of the truths of breast cancer that I recently found out was that, when a woman has breast cancer it does not mean it will lead to death because there are some cure and depending of what type of cancer it is. There are millions of survivors and it really inspires me to talk about the facts towards my capstone. I just think it is interesting and it will be helpful throughout my process.

"Chicken Soup for the Breast Cancer Survivor's Soul: Stories to Inspire, Support and Heal." Barnes & Noble. Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Mary Olsen Kelly, n.d. Web. 30 Jan. 2015. <http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chicken-soup-for-the-breast-cancer-survivors-soul-jack-canfield/1100307581?ean=9781623610494>.

Other than online sources, there was another book that I found that was clever about Breast Cancer. Not only, does it give facts or any other warnings that readers should be aware of. The book explains the positive side of breast cancer and give stories about survivors. Even, if we lost the ones we love and became afraid, at the end families shared their experience in the book and gladly supports the awareness that people fundraise. I believe that the book is very heart-warming and touching. It is a nice book to enjoy and other readers would like to find more information about the fight.

The skies were awake on a sunny morning in San Francisco. Most people were heading out to their jobs and students riding the busses to school. It was a ordinary day in the city and neighborhoods. Traffic was moving quickly down at 19th avenue, I was in the car with my dad heading to school while listening to the morning radio show. Most of the time, my dad drives me to school because he goes through the same direction to his job. He carries blue prints in the back of the care everyday to work because he’s an architecture.

My dad turned to Sloat blvd and onto 26th street, driving towards Eucalyptus Dr. He parked at the corner of the school. I stared at the school, thinking it’s going to be a long day. Before, I could get out of the car, my dad slightly turns his head towards me.

“We’ll Michael, this is your stop,” he said.

“My stop to hell,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Don’t say that, you’ll be fine. You know what, how does pizza sound for dinner tonight?,” he suggested.

“I guess that sounds okay.”

“Alright, I’ll let your mom know. But hey, it’s just high school plus you’re only a junior. What do you have to lose? Better things will come in your future,” He said joyfully.

“Hopefully, one more year left and then I get to leave for college.”

“We’ll take care and stop stressing. I’ll see you at home, Okay?”

“Okay,” I said.

I grabbed my school bag and headed out of the car. I shut the door and turned to the car, my dad rolled down the window.

“Remember it’s just High School. Have a good day!,” He shouted.

“Thanks,” I replied.

My dad was pretty strange but I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Slowly, my dad drives off down the road.  

~

When I was signing in with my ID, I reminded myself that I have Mr. Greg class first which was physics. I was a A+ student. I didn’t feel any special about being one of the smartest kids at school. I felt completely normal. I walked to the second floor towards the grey lockers to grab my binder. Physics class was down the hall.

When I entered, mostly everyone was present. The class was way too loud, I didn’t know people build up their energy so quickly. For Christ sake, I can’t even get up from my own bed. Lowell High School was a lot different from any other school in San Francisco. Sometimes, I wished that I went to a regular school. The class was completely arrange with groupies. The popular girls were on the right side in the back of the class near the windows. In front of the class, the nerds were watching Japanese Animes. The athletes were on the left, talking about last night basketball game on ESPN. And I, just sat in the middle of the class.

When I got to my seat, David came to class. I’ve known David since elementary school, David is the only latino friend I have. He was wearing a Lakers snapback, dressed in a white V-neck with black skinny jeans along with a nice pair of jordans. Sometimes, he likes to mock me in Spanish. Sadly, I didn’t understood what he was saying because I’m Italian.

David walks towards me.

“Yo Michael, guess what I found out yesterday,” he said

“What?”

“I heard Brittany moved back from New York. I didn’t believe it at first but when I was walking towards the park. I spotted Brittany and her family moving furniture from the truck on 33rd and Ortega. I didn’t say hi to her because I thought she wouldn’t recognize me, It’s been 6 years since she moved,”

“Oh that’s great, I remembered we all went to school together and fooled around”, I remembered her. Back in the old days, she was my crush. I liked her but I never told her.

“Yeah I know, We should stop by and talk to her.”

“Maybe tomorrow.”  

Before David could speak, Mr.Greg entered the room with his leather suit bag. You can tell in Mr.Greg’s face that he looked excited. Mr.Greg looked like he was around his mid 30’s. He was everyone’s favorite teacher. His class was my favorite. The student were curious about Mr. Greg thoughts.

“Okay class, I have a announcement to make,”  Mr. Greg said excitedly.

“Please, take a seat.”

Everyone tries to finds their assign seat. The class was anxious while Mr. Greg seattles his suit bag onto the desk.

“Okay, It’s a truly honor to say that our school is eligible to participate in the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair. We were picked from a raffle and lucky to have such a great opportunity. More than 1,700 high school students from over 70 countries were provided and within the winner receives a $5 million award.”

At that moment, I retreated into my own head, picturing X. when Mr.Greg kept talking to the class, I faded away from the class conversation and only thought about the competition. A science and engineering fair and a $5 million award, huh? This definitely sounds that would fit me perfectly to achieve. I would have to create something that no one have ever thought about doing. I have to get started right away. All eyes will be on me, I can already imagine. The judges would be surprised and many people will be mindblown. It’s going to be a process but it’s going to be outrageous.

My mind fell out of the zone. I continued to listen to Mr. Greg. I faded away from the class conversation and only thought about the competition. A Science and Engineering Fair and a $5 million award, huh? This definitely sounds that would fit me perfectly to achieve. I would have to create something that no one have ever thought about doing. I have to get started right away. All eyes will be on me, I can already imagine. The judges would be surprised and many people will be mindblown. It’s going to be a process but it’s going to be outrageous. My mind fell out of the zone. I continued to listen to Mr. Greg.

Mr. Greg explained to the class, “From now on, I want all of you to come up with a idea and just generally brainstorm the project based on what you want to present,”

“So folks, We have to work this out and make everything seem possible. I would recommend to start now because the deadline to turn in the project is May 25.”

Its only March, I have time to work on my project. I just need the right idea to work my way through. I looked around the class, I seen that no one was interest and wasn’t planning to do their best. The only thing that I can think of is, It’s my lucky day.

David tilted his head towards me.

He mumbled to me, “This is stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, I can ace this project,” I rejected.

“We’ll you can, not me. It’s science fair project for a stupid company, these days no one is interest in intel.”

“What does this have to do with popularly?”

“Everything Mich, everything”.

~

After settling down with my parents and siblings on the dinner table eating pizza, I explained to them the science fair opportunity. They were glad to see me that I was interest in such thing. They supported me, I was also surprise as well that I was into the fair. I was wide awake, I kept thinking about Intel ISEF. I knew that it was going to be extraordinary. To me, it’s not just a science and engineering fair. It was more of a life challenge, I want to accomplish something that my parents would feel proud of me for once. Now that I realized that I became to obsess with the science fair.

I remembered my dad keeps his tools and blueprints into a little house, that he built in the backyard when I was younger. It was already midnight and everyone else was already asleep. I wanted to take a look at my dad’s private space and to search for the right tools. Soon, I decided to sneak out the backyard but before I can get anywhere my dad keeps his space private. Of course, I would have to get the keys but it was too easy to find them. I got out of my room and walked silently down the hallway. The keys were left in the kitchen. Opened the back kitchen door and ran to the small house.

“Damn, which key is it,” I said frustratedly knowing that there was 20 different keys.

Finally, I found the key to the lock. I slowly turned the lock and opened the door. I switched the lights on, everything seem completely normal. I walked inside and notice there was blueprints laying on the middle table, dust were cover on the shelfs, construction tools were attached to the wall. I didn’t see anything interest nor I found any secret. I knew my dad was hiding something but I suppose it’s not hidden here. I put my hands onto the table and thought to myself.

I notice a red glance between the blueprints, I became anxious. I pushed the blueprints onto the side and saw it was a small red button, I was a coward to push the button but I had nothing to lose. Suddenly, the walls were changing their appearance. The room was transforming I never seen such thing before. There were new silver screens, holograms of DNA’s, machines, and gears. It filled the room with such great technology, I was shocked and wonder why my dad keep this for so long or maybe he was keeping from someone?

I searched around and experiment some new gadgets. To the left, I saw a little creature that was kept inside of a large glass cylinder. The little creature was gray but looked more like a newborn puppy, It was covered with electric wires.  It was marvelous, it blew my mind, I was fantasize.  

“What are you?”,

“What type of creature is this?,”

“Are you alive?,” I questioned.

I noticed on the bottom of the glass cylinder there was a name tag. It was labeled as “Experiment 106”. My dad created a masterpiece. It was unbelieveable, I was blown away from my dad’s secret projects. Suddenly, I had gotten an idea. I thought about the Intel ISEF, I wanted to go beyond than people expected with the projects. I decided to take the creature from the lab and use it for my presentation at the fair. At the same time, I couldn’t take it away. It was my dad’s property. I didn’t know what to do, It would be counted as stealing. Everything was locked, I had to type in a code in order to release the little creature.

I started to guess random numbers,

“45678?,”

“ Access Deny,” the computer lab spoken as it flashes a red light on the pad.

“43579?,”

“Access Deny,”

“26896?,”

“Access Deny,”

“76543?,”

“Access Deny,”

“96780?,” I was getting frustrated. I knew my dad wouldn’t make a random pass code onto the computer. I thought about an important date that my dad treasures, first thing that came in mind was parents wedding date. I gave it a try.

“09197,”

“Access Approved”

My heart began to beat fast, It was nerve wracking. The red light had switch to green and the wires began to untangle from the creature body. There was a green water inside the glass cylinder that kept the creature in place, it began to empty itself until there wasn’t anymore liquid inside. My hands were shaking, I slowly took the glass cylinder. I tried to avoid my thoughts and the consequences that could happen. I approached the middle table put everything back in place, I pressed the red button, everything went back to normal. I made sure I locked everything with the right key. As I gotten back outside, I checked both sides and ran to my room.

~

I woke up the next day, It felt like I was in a dream. I looked under the bed and saw the creature laying inside of the glass cylinder, I knew it wasn’t a dream but it was now reality. I reach for my phone and called David as soon as I can, He was the only person that I trusted. I dialed the number.

“Hello?” David answered.

“David, meet me at the local park”.

“Why?”

“Because, it’s an emergency. You have to come now.

“What happened, are you alright?,” David became frighten as I heard in the tone of his voice.

“Yes, I’m completely fine. It’s about something else.”

“Alright, I’m on my way,” David ended the phone.

I got out of bed and took the glass cylinder inside of my school bag, I rushed to change clothes and headed out the door. I bumped into my mom before I can exit out of the front door.

“Michael, Where are you going at this time? You haven’t eaten your breakfast yet,”

“I know, I’m going over a friends house,” I lied.

“At this time?”

“We have a big exam that is coming up soon and we have to study.”

“But it’s only saturday.”

“Practice makes perfect, right?”

“Yeah but…” My mom didn’t know how to respond.

“Hun, just let him go. He’ll be fine.” My dad said.

“But…”

“Just let him go” He suggested.

“Alright, just don’t come back too late. Okay?”

“Thank you.”

I rushed to the door and headed my way to the park.  

~

Luckily, when I got to the park no one wasn’t there. I waited for David to come. I had a feeling he was going to freak out when he see’s the creature. I checked my bag and realized the creature wasn’t breathing nor moving. It stood silently still or maybe the process wasn’t complete as I thought it would be. David finally arrived, I was expecting that he might freak out but I knew he would understand.

“What’s the emergency?” David asked.

“I don’t know where to start but what i’m about to show you is top secret”

“Okay?”

I took out the glass cylinder from the bag, David began to freak out.

“Michael, What the hell is that?” David said with the scarness in his tone.

“I’m not sure what in the world is it but I found it at my dad’s laboratory in the back yard”

“Is it dead? It’s not moving.” He questioned.

“Hopefully, it’s not. I need it to be alive for the science fair?

“Wait wait, you stole this creature from your dad just so you can win the fair?

“Its not just any fair, it’s just…,” David stopped me before I could finish my sentence.  

“This is about the money isn’t it, the 5 million award? Your parents are already rich, What more do you need?”

“I don’t want the money,”

“I just want to go big and do the best that I can.” I tried to explained.

“Look, I understand you want to go huge on this but isn’t this just too much?”

“No, I know this can work but…”

I felt something shaking, it was the little gray creature moving around in the glass cylinder. The creature was opening it’s eyes. They were shaded blue but form like a goats eyes. It looked furious. Inside, the creature was going insane. I got scared and threw the glass cylinder across the grass. It had hit a tree and broke the glass, I absolutely made a huge mistake.

“David, stay calm.”

“What the hell are we going to do,” The fear in his voice he cried.

The creature slowly got up from the ground and onto it’s 4 legs, it started to stretch like it was asleep for many years. The creature looked from both sides, it was confused and lost. A coat of fur began to grow on the body and claws were getting sharp by the minute. Within the time, the creature started to get big,. The create  was getting upset, so it begun to howl and hiss at us. Step by step, It was slowly moving towards our direction.

“Run!,” I shouted. There was no time to lose, we had to make a run for it.

We ran and ran deep into the woods, we noticed it was endless. We were being chased by the grey coated creature. I was losing my breath, my heart beating like crazy, the warm blood were rushing in my veins and sweat were dripping down my face.

“This is hopeless, we have to climb a tree!”

“No, we have to go back to my house?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“This is my fault... I’m the one who caused this problem and now I have to fix it,”

The woods seem like you would see something from a horror film. There wasn’t any sign of the creature so we stopped behind a tree to catch our breath. We stood completely still in one place.

“So whats your plan? How are we going to get out of this crap?” David said silently.

“There has to be sometime injection inside my dad’s laboratory”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive, I remember seeing a green chemical inside the lab. It should be able to work. The creature is created made by genetic, on the other hand it’s a clone. It is able to be stopped.”  

I was hoping, my plan would work. I don’t want to fail. We heard footsteps, it was getting closer and closer.

“Whatever happens, just keep running.”

“Alright then, this just better work!,”

“I’ll distract the thing, while you make a run for it.” David suggested.

I was afraid. The creature found us hiding behind the tree. The creature was aiming at David, as he was distracting the wild beast. David dodge when the creature tried to jump on him, he soon grabbed a wooden stick and slam the creature against the tree.  

“Go, Go!” David shouted.

We ran for our lives.

~

We were running like the speed of lightening. We put as much energy as we could before the creature was able to attack us. This mess was all my fault, I shouldn’t have touch anything. I was way over the top to think a creature for a science fair would be a good idea, I was wrong.

We finally got to the house and noticed the creature kept chasing us. Me and David ran inside but luckily the door was open. We shut the door before the creature was able to get inside. The moment was intense.

“Dad, Dad!” I shouted.

My dad rushed downstairs. He questioned, “Michael, what is going on?”.

“You have to help us,” I begged.

“Dad, Listen I’m sorry. I stole your experiment from the laboratory, I shouldn’t have took done such thing in the first place. You have to help me, it’s coming after us.”

“You took experiment 106? Michael, that clone is way too dangerous,”

“Did you not read the label that was above the glass cylinder?,” He said angrily.

“That’s why I need you to help me, I know you have an injection that can stop this creature.”

“Michael, you put me and the family to crisis!”

“Where is experiment 106?”

“It’s outside.” I was disappointed in myself.

“In public? You let it out in PUBLIC?”

“The glass cylinder broke and got away, I wasn’t able to stop it”

The door was banging, it was the creature. I looked to the side of the living room and seen  my mom holding the twins tight in her arms by telling them, that everything is going to be okay. Deep inside, they were scared to death.

“Honey, take the kids upstairs.” My dad requested.

My mom obeyed and took the kids to the room upstairs.

“Michael and David, I want you both to go upstairs as we’ll”

“Dad, This is my mess. I need to fix it.”

“No, it’s too dangerous,” My dad said with a worried in his face.

“I can handle this, I swear I can,” I wanted to be brave.

“I can too sir.” David said.

“Alright follow me.”

My dad requested us to distract the creature while he was able to get the injection from the laboratory.

“Hey, hey. Over here you little freak” Shouted David as he was slamming against the trash cans.

I as we’ll took slapped the metal trash cans together. The creature was running back and forth, it seems like the loud banging voice of the trash cans were bothering it.

“Tackle it and hold it still” My dad cried.

“How?”

“Grab it from the behind, It may be strong but its the only way.”

We ran towards the creature. The creature growled so hard that it even hurt my hearing. Next thing, I noticed was that me and david were wrestling the creature. It was strong and husky, the creature pulled out it’s claws and scraped my face and arms. I was bleeding and so was David. Our clothes were getting ripped and dirty from the mud. We put as much strength as we could.

“STEADY, keep it still.”

“Hold on,”

“Watch out!”

The needle was the size of a nail tool and the liquid inside was bright green but thick as blood. It made me nauseous just by looking at it.

“That will do, It’s a injection that is able to kill the creature. I kept it secure for in case of emergencies.” My dad explained.

The creature was slowly closing it’s eyes, and wasn’t putting force onto itself. It was slowly dying. I was glad, the situation was almost over.

“Here, that will do… for now.”

I was finally able to breath, I was exhausted.

Later that day, My dad set up a bonfire. The only solution to keep this creature away was to burn it into ashes. I watching the creature melting into the fire, It was unbelievable scene. The creature was now gone.

(Personal Essay) 

Sometimes in life, people fail at a certain point. Failing is definitely normal in our human lives. Some people may even think it is unfair, when it comes to a difficult situation at a moment in our lives. To any situation, no matter how hard it can be to understand. I personally believe that, there’s always a solution to every problem. For an example, There was a time in my life, that I failed to change my dad personality and our relationship. Me and my dad were having a difficult father and daughter relationship because we couldn’t communicate with each other clearly and till today, we still continue to struggle.

When it comes to having a deep talk with my parents, it usually comes out as not what I expected to be or planned. Sometimes, I usually would want to talk to my parents about a serious situation or either getting advice from them. Starting a conversation with my dad can be pretty difficult, he would normally listen but at the end, it can turn out to be in a argument. At times, I question myself that is it even worth talking to my dad because it always turns out to be a debate? I usually failed, I tried to get in touch with me dad but it never works out. On the other hand, my mom is a sweetheart and understands the most because she knows exactly, what is going on in my life and knows exactly, who I really am. Just like they say, mother knows best.

This shows that me and my parents have a different relationship between each other. Especially, with my relationship with my dad. Our difficulties had started with family issues from the past. Having family issues is never a good experience nor a good thing. Especially, when your parents begin to argue or one parent decides to leave the house. When I was younger, around the age of six. My parents began to have troubles with each other. Everyday, when I came home from school, they began to argue in front of me and my siblings in the kitchen table. At that time, I was young and clueless because had no idea, what was going on or knew what they were arguing about. There was a lack of communication with my dad because he was never around the house. Especially, when my mom needed help from him, my dad was never present.

The first time when I realized, that my parents began to have problems was a night full of tears and frustration. On that same night, I couldn’t sleep. I was laying down in my warm bed and a deep silence was surrounding me. I looked outside of the window and saw there was a clear dark sky. I started to stare at the bright full moon, begged the moon to put me back to sleep. That night, I remembered my dad was going to come home early from work. Supposedly, my dad promised to return home by 9pm. When I checked the time, it was 2am in the morning on a Thursday. I couldn’t sleep without knowing my dad was safe. I was worried sick, I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid and there was fear inside of me that I couldn’t let go. 

I began to be curious, so I decided to escape from my room. Opening the door was a nerve wrecking because I had a feeling in my gut that something bad was going to happen between my mom and dad. I didn’t know, what exactly was the situation. I was curious about what was my mom doing in the living watching novelas at 2am in the morning. As I walked out, I heard my mom talking on the phone, I predicted it was my dad. My mom was nearly yelling over the phone, I was lost and confused. I slowly, hid myself under the kitchen table to hear my mom conversation. I stood under the table at least for 20 minutes straight, to hear my mom argument with my dad about hanging out with a group of friends at the bar. 

I  peaked over in the living room, to check upon my mom. When I looked over at my mom, I seen my mother seeing tears. It was heartbreaking to see my mom cry. I wouldn’t think that no one would like to see their mom cry, once in their life. Finally, my mom had hanged up the phone. My mom looked at the phone and threw the house phone across the room. The phone had hit the heater, then broke into pieces. At that moment, I was frozen and scared. I never seen my mother, angry or in tears before. I wanted step up my game and help my mom but I knew that she didn’t want any of her children to see her crying. I stood at the same place as I was in the beginning, under the table in the kitchen. I started into burst tears. 

My mom never noticed that I was by her side, the whole entire time. I wanted to be there for my mom, when in times come in need. That night, I remembered I stood in the corner being crawled up in a ball, waiting for my dad to come home. I was half awake and half asleep at the moment but I refused to sleep without seeing my dad. About a 30 minutes later, I heard a strange sound that came from the living room, I peaked over in the room and saw that it was my dad holding up a pizza box and white bag. My dad seem strange, he wasn’t himself that night. My dad smelled like alcohol, he was drinking with his friends at the bar. My dad dropped his stuff and went to go change into a different outfit, and there he goes again out the door. But keep in mind, this wasn’t the only time my dad had made mistakes. 

Years later, I became older and wiser about my dad’s actions. I was aware of every decision he made because I think it’s something that I needed to know. My dad had so much work days, that I wasn’t able to see him. I realized, that alcohol was a his biggest weakness. It explained a lot of absence at home and the answer to my question. Till today, when I see my dad, he would usually drink bottles of beer. My dad became addicted to alcohol, the alcohol is what caused him to make bad decisions. It took over his mind, to do wrong. I have other younger siblings, who watches my dad drink bottles of beer in front of them which is based upon bad influence. When I had the chance to help out, I failed to keep my dad to stay on track. I tried my best to keep myself positive and get rid of all the bad memories from the past, but suddenly it’s still attached to me like a demon. It kills me to see my dad struggle, but theres nothing much I can do about it.