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Where's Ms. Debby?

Posted by Julien Sykes in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

I switched middle schools in the seventh grade which made it hard for me to find myself.  Since I was twelve turning thirteen, it was a transitional period into something different.  It was the stage from child to teenager where you find out who you are as a person, a member of society, where you are classified in the school’s popularity contest and ultimately who you will be for the remainder of your life.  I did not know who I was, I flew under the radar so I was not a member of society and I was not popular but teased and isolated.  This led to not having a lot of friends and evasion of socializing with my peers most if not all of the time.  The only thing I had to help me cope with this void I had inside was art.

I loved art because I was able to express what I was feeling with paint, charcoal, and clay.  What made it better was my art teacher, Ms. Debby.  She was an older woman with curly hair with gray streaks but nonetheless, one of the kindest people I have ever met.  She was always smiling which would sometimes suppress my somber, distant persona.  She was warm and she accepted me and at the time, this was an alien concept.  Usually I showed carelessness and neglected to work with anyone, whether it was mandatory or not.  My emotional coldness and lack of empathy for others was immediately dismissed whenever she was around or I was making art.  Another thing art gave me was a circle of friends who felt the same social awkwardness.  They were all in an oddity that was unexplainable to the people who were apart from it.  Art was an outlet that gave some happiness and people who were in a similar place as I was.

The school’s popularity contestants were all befuddled that I and the rest of my fellow peers did not want to belong to their group.  This is a group where everyone is the same, have the same ideals, have same hobbies and many other similar compatibilities.  It is funny how the people who are at the “top” of the ladder want to include your presence when you find something more and sometimes even better than what they have to offer you.  In a way, they only want to see you feel better or make friends if it is under their terms and principles.  I found out soon after that I deserved better than that and decided to still be the “lone wolf” of the circle in my head.  I can honestly say that most of my friends have very distinct differences with me hence the phrase; opposites attract.  I can look back and say that the “clique” within my dreams did help me cope with the harsh reality that I dealt with everyday but scarred me psychologically with anti-social tendencies.

Ms. Debby’s inviting and welcoming personality changed me for the limited amount of time that I was with her.  During regular classes, I was the child/teenager who sat in the back and did not say anything.  Having an idea or a question would result in laughter and discrimination against me.  That is why people did not know who I was by name but as “the boy who we laugh at”.  But when I would go to art, I would always feel reinvigorated with energy.  Her infectious persona filled me with bravado when we talked about art or as person/member of society.  But all of this went down the drain when my principal decided to be a wet blanket and did not renew her contract.

By doing this, he was restricting her from coming back in the fall.  Many students already had an immediate disliking of the principal and this stunt was considered the last straw for us.  I usually do not follow the crowd but at that time, I didn’t have much of choice.  I had my own objectives and was not conforming to anyone even though they were allies in this case.  They were enemies that I had a temporary truce with until we could destroy the monster who wanted to spread unhappiness amongst all of us. 

We petitioned to have the renewal followed through as planned.  Since it was a known fact to everyone in my grade that I was semi-great at art (because of the time spent with Ms. Debby) I was assigned to design posters and picket signs.  When using words and understanding did not work, we proceeded with a bang: striking.  Almost every student did not do any work until we received word that Ms. Debby’s contract was renewed.  Something that was surprising during this entire experience is that not single punch was thrown.  Some of the students were very upset with the monster’s (my principal) decision and were bloodthirsty enough to start a riot but there was not.  He said that it was a lack of money because the school was relatively new.  Although, I knew that that was true, nobody except Ms. Debby was going to lose their job and some people were even gaining jobs as administrators. I can gladly say that even though I did not like or have anything in common with my peer group, they did show decorum and handled the situation like young adults instead of insane teenagers.  The only reason I did not feel anything any emotion towards Ms. Debby’s firing was because I was used to things falling apart and the amount of instability at my school.  Since Ms. Debby and I had a close connection, she understood what it meant.  She understood that I was internalizing it and known that opening up or showing weakness was not my strong suit.

Sadly, our concerted efforts did not work and Ms. Debby still left in the fall.  The next year when we met our new art teacher, I strayed away from art because I only had Ms. Debby’s bright aura to help me continue on.  Without it, I felt lost again in an oddity I cannot explain just like in the seventh grade.  Even though she was gone, she was not forgotten and I knew that she did not forget me as well.  Soon after this happened, I came to an absolution.  

Some things do not last forever but at this time, I did not want Ms. Debby’s employment to be terminated.  Therefore, I felt obligated to do something, but not just for me, for her and the entire administration.  I wanted to show people that I and my peers have a voice and that we should be heard since we are the resource that qualifies the establishment as a “school”.  By trying to change something, I went out of my comfort zone to fight for someone and something that I truly care about.  I partnered with people who I had nothing in common with but fought for a common purpose with and I can honestly say that they fought a hard battle.

As for Ms. Debby, I cannot say what happened to her but I know that she remembers my effort to fight for her job.  Wherever she is and whatever she may be doing, I hope that her co-workers treat her with respect and dignity.  But one thing that I will never forgive, is my principal’s stupidity in handling the situation.  He caused the uproar that made the students act like a pack of rabid wolves, smelling nothing but blood.  In the end since we fought alongside each other, I guess you may be able to say that we are a “pack”.

Wanting what's best for my mom

Posted by Monisha Das in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

There are many times in life when we want something to happen, however someone else might not feel the same way. It could be for a good change or a good reason but perhaps that someones does not want to be a part of it. This brings up the topic of my family and I wanting my mother to take better care of her health.

For the past three years my mother has been taking poor care of her health. She does not sleep or eat right, which are two important things human beings need in order to survive. In the past years, she has also gone through a lot, which could be some of the elements that were reflecting on to her health. My mother is a very hard working woman, my family and I really appreciate all that she has done but we just wished that she would take better care of her health. Knowing that she was not taking good care of herself had a huge impact on my family. We tried to help her to eat and get to sleep on time but she did not really take our help into consideration, which frustrated my family member because she was not willing to bring change into her health.

Everyday she has a very early start meaning that she should also be going to sleep early, in order to get the right amount of sleep, but she does not. She wakes up every morning, bright and early, before her sleeping childrens. Since I leave the house before everyone else, she comes and wakes me up first and then heads downstairs to prepare breakfast for everyone. After I eat breakfast, I head out to leave but I do not leave alone, my mother actually gets ready to drop me off to the trainstation. At that time I was younger but I was able to walk myself to the trainstation. I would tell her that “you don’t have to go,” but she would refuse to listen and would come along. I did not mind this because this was one of her ways to show that she cared about me. But I did not want her to come along because I wanted her to get some more sleep and eat since she had not eaten breakfast with me. Once I had told her “mom, I am old enough to walk myself to the trainstation, you do not have to come with.” My mother took that a bit too personally and got upset about it. The next day when she would want to come along again, I would say nothing. I tried this many time and I always got the same reaction. Then I realized that there was no point in saying or doing anything because she would just do things her way.

Everyone in my house has a different schedule, we all leave and arrive at different times, the only time we are all together is after 11pm. My mother refuses to go to sleep before her children. A lot of times I have to stay up really late to finish school work and she would decide to stay up with me until I finish. Once when she was staying up with me, I asked her to go to bed since she gets up before me but like before she would not listen. At home I alternate between two different languages, Bangla and English, I speak Bangla with my parents. One day my older siblings, Laxmi and Mithun, told me that I tend to have a harsh tone in that Bangla. I had no clue what they meant because when I speak, I can not tell the difference between my tone being harsh and not harsh. I also do not mean to do it, it just ends up happening and sometimes my mother takes that personally and ends up getting mad. At that point it is really difficult to make her understand my point of view.

My mother says that she does not have the time in her schedule to get enough sleep or eat well. This made me sad because it showed everything she does for us, does not give her time to do things for herself. One day when my siblings and I were in the kitchen my mother was repeatedly telling us to eat. My brother, Mithun, told her “mom, you constantly keep telling us to eat and take care of ourselves but why don’t you do the same.” My mother was busy cooking so she responded “then who is going to do all my work.” She does a lot for our family and she does not want to give my siblings and I responsibilities because she thinks that it would be pressuring us. When in reality we actually wanted to help out because her doing so much was affecting her not being able to take care of herself. If we had more to do then perhaps she would not have so much to do and would have more time to take better care of herself.

Everytime I or anyone in the family tried to make a change in her health, she would not pay it any mind and that would make us really mad. We showed her that we cared but she just stuck to doing things in her same way. Then I think what did I do wrong? Did she think that I did not care or is it that she did not want to me to care? Whatever the case it got me really angry. But I learned to control what I would say to her, because first it probably would not matter and second she would probably mind. There was obviously something wrong, but I just did not know what it was; that made it hard to help change her health. Maybe its the fact that human being do not have the ability to make other do what they want, even if it is for a good cause.

Overtime we all realized that this was, obviously, something we could not change overnight so why not take baby steps and see where they led us. To make things a bit easier for my mother, my siblings started do more around the house; my mother still did not allow me to get involved. Wanting to change my mother’s health is still possible, however the results would come in a slow pace. I have learned that when someone else is involved in the change I want to make, I can’t force it upon them that I have to wait and be patient.

“What is the role of individuals in creating and sustaining change?

Posted by Lala Doumbia in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

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For my english class we made to pick away that we was going to answer “What is the role of individuals in creating and sustaining change?”. I pick to make an audio because It will help answer the question, “What is the role of individuals in creating and sustaining change?”.  Most people are good at writing how they feel, fact, or making story, but I feel when I write it is harder for me to get what I want to say. It’s harder because I don’t know how I’m going tell the information with other repeating over and over the same things.  When I’m writing sometime I start to get off topic and that a way you can lose the read, and I don’t want that. But when I talk about it I can give you the facts that you need and now get off topic.

This audio will be a question and answer this will help some some of the answer about the main question. To answer the question I will give an example of what creating and sustaining change is so people can know what I’m talking about. I will bring up an issue that is happening now or did happen and talk about it . Then I was give my opinion and other so I can show “What is the role of individuals in creating and sustaining change?” is. I will also talk about the people I mention in my speech. I will give fact on what they did and how they did it. The will show people how the change happen .

Something that we all know is the guy who set himself on fire so he can make a change. Change can happen in a lot of ways, but every change that we was teach about in school or seen on the news was started but someone. Most people are scared to stand up for their right until someone else stand up by them self. So when I was ask “What is the role of individuals in creating and sustaining change?” my answer would be Yes we do need a individuals  to help create a change. This is shown in a lot of way. For example Gay right, the right to sit anywhere on the bus. Most people are scared to break the rules because they don’t know what’s going to happen to them. So that why people don’t want to but when some do for something good then other will be there for them.


https://www.dropbox.com/s/qqlshhkg3d5rpjl/My%20Song.m4a

TUPAC by Sophie, Jaaz, and True

Posted by Sophia Deoliveira in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

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How we came up with the idea-Jaaz

How we sought out the idea-True

How Tupac created change-Sophie


How we came up with the Idea


When first getting this project, True (black) and I wanted to do something unique, so we agreed on doing a movie. Thinking about a person who made change that we both knew about we choose Tupac. After deciding, we had to think of scenes where we could show how he changed his environment. Then we thought about it, we needed another person so we asked around to who else wanted to be apart of our greatness. So we asked around, and with a lot of luck sophie said she would be apart of this great movie. As we started to write the script, we came up with scenes that fit into Tupacs attitude, and into what he was about. The process took time, but after we had a thorough idea, we were set to start filming. However getting to the idea wasn’t easy we had to make sure that we weren’t just putting information anywhere, or just saying anything. Everything had a meaning in our project, and that was a little bit difficult because that meant we had to make sure the script didn’t have holes. But however after we came up with the idea our project basically finished its self.   


How we showed created Our Project


The way we went about representing Tupac’s life is by reenacting what could’ve been key moments in Tupac’s younger life and during his career that represented how he changed the world around him. We started by establishing his personality. Tupac was always intelligent and friendly to others, he just feared no one. We also wanted to show how passionate he was about rapping and providing for himself and his family. Tupac over the years never let the publicity of his own rise to power change his views and perspective. He always put his family first and made sure people close to him were ok. We wanted to show Tupac’s lack of change over the years, helped change everything around him. We also tried to demonstrate this by creating what could’ve been the creation of the hit single Changes. In the song, Tupac talks about how he sees the world around him and what needs to be done to fix all the wrong thats going on.     






How Tupac Created Change


Many people know the name Tupac, and most are familiar with his name. However, most are not familiar with the how just one rapper, one gangster, was such an influence on the music industry. His music had such an influence on the individuals living in America’s ghettos. He spoke out to woman, and how men too should treat them as their own mother; with respect, and not let unmatured men bring them down. He talked about the man, how they need to work hard for their families. His music identifies the injustice that came to victims of racism. He realized the struggle of all the different races that were down upon the white man. He had a very political conscience, which you could determine from his lyrics. When growing up, he lived in a very diverse environment, especially when living with Leila Steinberg. She made him read deep writings, like feminist books. According to a Harvard study, Tupac was more “well-rounded” than an average freshman college student from an Ivy league school. Just listening to his lyrics you can tell that he was trying to get his point across. Take for example his song “words of Wisdom”. In one of his verses, he states “No Malcolm X in my history text. Why is that? Cause he tried to educate and liberate all blacks. Why is Martin Luther King in my book each week? He told blacks, if they get smacked, turn the other cheek”. Tupac fought for human rights in his music by creating awareness. Sadly after he died, all his good music went with him. However, his mother, as well as his role model, founded the TASF (Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts), which is a performing arts center that offers programs such as drama, dance, and creative writing classes. This allows kids all of over the area a let out, a gateway to themselves, expressing their beliefs and opinions through creative writings of all sorts, just Like Tupac did.



LINK: https://vimeo.com/89707440

Little Help

Posted by Nadir Meeks in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

One problem that I've noticed and am bothered by today is the racial injustice towards African Americans seen on the streets and in courts today. This is a problem that has been around for far too long and while it is well known I feel not enough is being done about it. There were some instances where people marched because of an injustice ruling, such as the Treyvon Martin case. However, a few weeks after the ruling  the controversy died down, nothing changed and other injustices continue to happen. My project is about how messed these injustices are and telling people that they have more power than they think and to rise against the racial injustices so that no one has to suffer from them again. To do this I will tell people to realize what’s going on and that there are bigger problems than having the newest phone or sneakers. I wanted to deliver this message in the form of a song because to me music is one of the best forms of self empowerment and is something I wish to pursue in life. Many musicians and artists before me have empowered people with their music and I wish to follow in their footsteps and do the same. I was going to do a cover of an already written song and rewrite the words myself to deliver the message that I discussed above. I do not think I am a singer and this is my first time recording my voice so I bless your ears. However, I do play the bass and wanted to “show off” on this project so the bass line will be provided by me. I plan to make tweeks of my own to the bass line so that it won’t be an exact copy of the bass line in the original song. If I had more time I would try to include more instruments played by real people or make a completely new song. ​



Look at what's happening

Trying to understand how

the freedom we once fought for isn’t there

where did it all go wrong

Cause, its time to bring injustice to an end



It doesn’t have to be like this

We can make it well

we can make change for the better, baby

With a little help



Lets start by acting out

we need to start working together, no more fighting amongst each other now

is it so hard to ask

to focus on the fight that is at hand



we can stop this racial mess

it just takes some work and a whole lot of effort

It just can't be done alone

you have more say than you think

Don't you know that



You can make change for the better, baby

With a little help

It doesn't have to be like this

we can make it well


Its time to fight like we used to

there is nothing else

'Cause we can make change for the better

With a little  help, you know

That's how you make this wrong a right, yeah


It doesn’t have to be like this

We can make it well

we can make change for the better, baby

With a little help




(Just want to let yall know this not my real voice, but don't be surprised if I'm nominated for a Grammy.)

Be the Change you Want to See

Posted by Darya Nemati in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

My Video: https://vimeo.com/89705079

Change is an enormous topic to tackle. The only way I felt completely confident that I would be able to express my thoughts was through video. The creative aspect of it enables me to send a message that I would be able to using words. I am a big believer in the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words.” This is also why I chose to use more visuals than text in my video and let the pictures take you through a specific event in history.

There are literally a million ways I can portray the message of an individual creating and sustaining change. However, I chose to focus on the topic of racism and the individuals who have helped change the perspectives of others. Racism is a very powerful indicator of how much our country has changed and how far it still has to go. We have all stories of racism or have encountered them ourselves, but I decided to focus on an event in our history that hasn’t been taught in school or hasn’t been talked about among peers.

My video opens with the march that occurred on January 17, 1987 in Forsyth County, GA. A march organized by many leaders such as Hosea Williams and Coretta Scott King to lower the level of racism in a county that suffered terribly of segregation. Georgia is the sixth most racist state in our nation. Forsyth County started with just one black and over 100,000 whites. Slowly the number of blacks has progressed but the ratio is still very unbalanced. What I am getting at here is that change is not possible without the hard work and commitment that happens behind the scenes. And although the county’s diversity has come a long way it still has room for change and that room will never fade. Like Dean Carter said at the Forsyth County march: "Today we have embarked on a journey, a journey that will take a lifetime to fulfill, the journey of worldwide brotherhood and understanding. Without this, Forsyth County, Georgia and even our nation will fail. Without brotherhood in a community, violence and intimidation will exist.”

You can’t sit back and expect change. This expectation is unrealistic and will never happen. Along with this comes the fact that change is constant. Nothing is ever perfect, which means things can always get better. Without the help of each individual a change cannot occur. We must go forth and conquer!

Creative Piece

Posted by Tytianna Broadwater in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

One of the most popular teen girls clothing store is Forever 21. They have cute clothes for reasonable prices. The only problem with the store is the trends they come out with. They just recently came out with their spring line. The spring line consist of floral prints and bright colors, which is normal for girls to where in the spring.

The one thing about the line is the clothes are very appropriate for teen girls or the spring. The clothes are very revealing and sexual for girls my age. They are made where girls bellies and a lot of their legs are showing. For example they have tops that look like bathing suit tops and very small shorts.

During this project I put my self in two different positions. One as if I was a designer for Forever 21’s spring collection and the other was as if I was designer for Kohl's. I made one outfit that could be transformed into another. Both outfits are made for teen girls in the spring but both give off different meanings.

The outfit designed as if I worked for Kohl’s is a dress that shows her back and legs below her knee. The outfit demonstrates as a teen girl its okay to show skin but not too much. The other outfit, made for Forever 21 is a crop top and little shorts. The crop top shows from just above her belly button to her waist. The shorts stop right under her butt and show all of her legs.

The message from both outfits show the difference between how girls can change from looking 16 to 26. Wearing certain clothes can change how old you look. It can also change how people view you. Over time girls have changed how they dress because they are trying to fit in with the new trends. 

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My Father's Keeper

Posted by Symone Mc Collum in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

By: Symone McCollum; Fire Stream (Personal Essay) 

I used to imagine what the perfect father would be like. I used to imagine that he would take me to school and pick me up. I used to imagine that he would be more than a best friend, but my only friend. I used to imagine this big husky guy that protected me from trouble and people who wanted to hurt me. I used to imagine that he’d love me until he grew old. I used to imagine him taking me to the park and pushing me on the swings or chasing me in a game of tag. For some reason when I would imagine these things, I never imagined my father fitting any aspect of this “perfect father.”

During my childhood, my father taught me typical things you learn how to do when you’re a child. He taught me how to ride a bike, how to cook, how to run the fastest, and how to use the video player. He was the strongest man I knew, but when my mother wasn’t around he would sit me down and give me four pigtails before school. He was heavy handed so it hurt when he did it, but every time he heard he squeal he would stop and apologize. To me, he was my superhero with a soft spot for his daughter. No bad guy could get to me as long as my father was there. He was my superhero best friend, and I was his sidekick.

Now, I notice that I might have been mistaken about my thoughts on my father. He was the perfect father before, but what’s the “perfect father” title worth when he was only that figure for only one portion of my life? It saddens me that he couldn’t be the man I expected him to be. It’s almost like the man I knew when I was younger was only a figure of my imagination. He would only appear when I wanted him to. Now, he only appears in my memories when I reflect on what I think built me into the person I am today.

As I grew up, I became content with the fact that my father would in my life at one point in time, disappear for a few months, come back and expect things to be normal. For a while, I would allow him to keep coming and going. My mother would try to warn me to not be hurt when he broke his promises of staying or taking me places, but instead of believing her, I would blame her for his absence. I would do this because my dad was my favorite parent because I had the most fun when I was with him. When I was with my mom it was strict and I couldn’t have as much fun as I could’ve with my father. When my mom would try to talk bad about him, I would defend him to the death because I wanted to hold on to the idea that he was the perfect father. Now that I look back, I wish I would’ve listened to my mother sooner. I wish I would’ve listened with open ears instead of closed and payed attention to the person who never left my side. She was my real superhero.

When I reached about age 12, I found out that my father was cheating on my mother. At this point in time, I saw my mom as the perfect parent because I realized that my father wasn’t there for me. When I found out, I told my mother because it was something she definitely needed to know. She then told him, which led into a physical altercation between him and I. I never felt to weak in my life. That, by far, was the most belittling moment in my life. What happened in that altercation is something I will never be able to fully forgive my father for, but I try to forget about it. When he left the house after the altercation, my mom and I packed a couple days worth of clothes and drove as fast as we could to her best friend's house so we could be safe for the night. I remember having to get ready for school the next morning at her house and pretending like none of that happened. I’m pretty sure that all of my classmates never thought that my life had any flaws. I portrayed myself as the happiest person who always kept a smile on her face and a loud laugh throughout the hallways.

At age 13, I found out that my father had a daughter by the woman he was cheating on my mother with. I found out by going to his mom’s house for my little cousin’s birthday party and seeing the lady with a baby in her arms with my father standing right next to them. He called me over and said “Symone, meet your sister Lyriq.” I was in shock. I felt 100 different emotions flowing through me at the speed of light. First, I was happy. I always wanted a baby sister or brother, but I never imagined that they would come into the world that way. I was angry because my father left my mother and I to go create another family with someone else. I was sad because I now had to share my dad with another human being for once and would have another human being called my dad their dad. I was annoyed because my father’s side of the family knew and didn’t tell me. When I met Lyriq, she was one years old. That meant that everyone knew for a year and didn’t mention not a word to me. What made it even worse was that the lady told me that she was pregnant with another child. I couldn’t even swallow the news about the first child, but a second? Unbelievable! But even still, there was nothing I could do to change how my life looked after that point.

As I started spending time with my little brother and sister, my relationship with my dad was almost nonexistent. He wasn’t paying attention to me anymore. He also would neglect seeing and spending time with me in order to stay home and take care of them. I was older, so I understood but I always questioned it. He could’ve tried to spend more time with me, but he didn’t. Even though I knew he wasn’t a good parent, I would always defend him against my mom when she started talking bad about him to me again. She would only do this when I would get disappointed in him not keeping his promises. Her favorite line was “Symone, you already know how he is. I don’t know what you expect from him at this point.” And she was very right. I couldn’t expect anything from him because he was never going to fall through… not even for his old sidekick.

He, though absent, contributed a lot to my spirituality. I am a lot stronger now because of his mistakes. I can endure almost any mental and emotional pain because I know that no one could ever hurt me as much as my own dad did and would continue to do. He failed to be the dad I needed him to be, but I kept pushing him to try. I didn’t cut off ties with him because he was my dad and I thought that the more I pushed him to be there for me, he would. I would act out in elementry school to get his attention, but that would only catch his attention for a few moments and then he would be gone again. What I want is to just have a good relationship with my brother and sister but unfortunately that involves having a good relationship with him too. I would want to tell my dad his faults so he can try to be a better parent, but that would be a waste of my time because nothing would change.

I’m not sure if I can still make change in our relationship because the problems are still occurring. I have not talked to my father since christmas of 2013 and it is now March of 2014. I don’t know any good fathers that could go months without talking to their child. Maybe I never saw a stable relationship between a father and daughter, but I know fatherhood was something my father would never understand and be able to carry out. The only thing I can do now is do everything in my power to make sure that my child never has a father like mine. I pray that I never fall in love with a man like my father because no child should ever have to know what it feels like to have a deadbeat father. I have no intentions on speaking to my father about his issues because talking to him is like talking to a child. All he’ll do is find a way to blame it on me and make himself feel good. I know this because he does the same thing with my mother when she tries to create a change in our relationship. He is who he is and I can either accept it or let him be. I’m tired of accepting his ideas of fatherhood because when he’s around I feel sad rather than protected and loved. I have always had something preventing me from shaking my issues from my father and I think I finally found out what it is...true bliss without him.

Matthew Schreiber Personal Essay

Posted by Matthew Schreiber in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

Personal Essay

Q3 Benchmark

Matthew Schreiber

“What is the role of individuals in creating and sustaining change?


Coming close to death can make you very nervous about everything. Imagine if you spent your entire childhood hearing nothing, but phrase like “you’re lucky to be alive” or “you need to be careful, you don’t know what can happen outside.” This doesn’t help especially with the news always talking about the dangerous acts happening outside. Again and again i would hear the warning that if my back was hit hard enough I would become paralyzed because of the state that my fragile spinal cord.  As you can probably imagine, I grew up as a very nervous child afraid of the world and even afraid of everyone I ever came across. Most children are curious to the things around them and like to explore, but I sat instead of being curious, I was worried about what could or could not hurt me. This made me really distant from people and I wouldn’t talk to anyone until they talked to me first. This mindset I have went unnoticed by me for years until my last operation on February 3, 2011.

It started when I got home on February 10 (a week after my operation). I was already aware of my limitations with the rods in my back. Now more than ever my Mom tried to limit all the things I could do. Stuff that I saw as normal, my mom saw everything as deadly and it made me realize that this is how nervous I act about everything. Now to go into detail by what I define as nervousness, I mean that I tend to overthink everything and it leads to me coming up with some odd scenarios. For example when I started to go downtown to go to SLA. My old school was right up the street from my house so going from up the street to taking a bus downtown and walking was something huge for me. This led to me over thinking over and over again about if something went wrong downtown how would I get home or what if I miss the bus that I usually take and instead get on a bus that causes me to be late because of traffic. The thought about traffic causing me to be late is why even to this day I get on a bus at 6:30 AM and get here at 7. I’m still worried about being late. As silly as this sounds even the bus ride itself makes panic in worry. I can’t explain why. I just feared that if something bad were to happen while I was on the bus. What could I do?

In the terms of thinking before you act, I wanted to do less thinking and more of the acting portion. I wanted to be a person who could live a normal day without panicking over the silliest scenarios. I could do everything without second guessing the decision no matter how small the decision was. It’s not that I want to be a person who doesn’t regret decisions (that’s impossible). I just don’t want to regret decisions that I panic over, but the normal person just brushes off.

Fast forwarding to sophomore year of high school is when i tried to make my change occur. I had known the routine at SLA and figured that there was nothing to be nervous about. I tried speaking out more in class instead of sitting there thinking to myself. However it just so happened this year was the year of majority class discussions. I absolutely hate group discussions. Mainly because people take what is said in discussions to heart and it causes people to react poorly to others points of view. Every day I would tell myself that if there is a class discussion then I should speak. I kept it as my mantra, but every time a group discussion came around, I would sit there think of scenarios about how people would react to what I would say and then getting nervous because of the reactions I brought up in my head.

I tried and tried again, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t change. I decided to find out for myself what was stopping me from changing. The best I can come up with goes once again back to my time in the hospital. Back in the hospital it would always be the doctors talking to my parents, never directly to me. instead I would sit their thinking to myself about what could go wrong and what was going to happen to me. This mindset of thinking to myself till I fill myself with worry has followed me throughout my entire life and I still have it with me today. When there are class discussion I am completely inactive to the discussion because I’m busy thinking how people will react to my thoughts. I’ve become a person who can spend his entire time just listening to other people talk because I’m just over thinking about everything.

In the end, I don’t think it truly matters if i ever change this part about me. My role in life would still be generally the same, regardless if I change how much nervous i am or not. An individual’s role in change should be to only change problems of the world rather than problems involving themselves. No matter what you would like to change about yourself, you can still make a change somewhere. However the difference between trying to make a change about yourself and one of the world is that you will know yourself if you change yourself, but when it comes to issues about the world, everyone has a different view on when enough change has occurred on a world issue. I really want to change my nervousness, but I know there are changes I can make as well. There are way larger issues than a person trying to overcome their nervousness. i would much rather have my role to help make a change in the world rather than attempt over and over again to make a change in myself.

Rosa - Visual Piece Description

Posted by Nomi Martin-Brouillette in English 3 - Pahomov - C on

The narrative around the Montgomery bus boycott is that Rosa Parks was just a poor seamstress who was tired one day and decided spur of the moment to not move her seat, and that her sudden arrest was what sparked the Montgomery Bus Boycott. This is what is often taught in schools, but it is untrue. The reality is that she was politically aware and active, and her refusal was planned and organized by the NAACP. Her arrest and what ensued was a community effort. 

The title of my piece is Rosa. I chose to portray Rosa Parks in a way that shows truth. Her face is a collage made out of other civil rights leaders faces, pictures from the Montgomery Bus Boycotts, grassroots African American leaders, African American writers, and others. Rosa Parks was a face to the Montgomery bus boycott, but there were more people involved. This is why in Rosa I chose to have smaller pictures coming together to make up her face.

While sometimes an individual can be a face or a symbol to a movement, it takes many people working together to get things done. The idea that only certain special people can create change is useful when you want to prevent change from happening. This has idea been used  for too long to stop people from coming together in powerful ways (and, I believe, stems from a colonial logic and capitalistic desire and to own and be recognized). Not everyone could be Rosa Parks, but everyone could have been involved in the Montgomery Bus Boycott in some way. It is important to teach the truth in schools so kids can envision themselves as change-makers, too. One person can not do it on their own. We must organize! 

ENG3-013

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2013-14

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