“Temprest” Deftones: This song is not a light-hearted song. It’s slow and dramatic, and aggressive in a way. The guitar gives it an edge to it and a darker theme. This song reminded me of how Offred dissociates during the ceremony and, in general, to escape her true feelings about her world, and to keep it all down to avoid trouble. The song says “Lay there, stare at the ceiling, and switch back to your time.” It reminds me of how Offred dissociates during the ceremonies, separating herself from her physical body. She just stares at the ceiling while thinking about anything. “I’d like to be taken apart from the inside, then spit through the cycle, right to the end.” They’re trapped in a cycle built to exploit them. The government tries to brainwash the girls into thinking this is the right way, so they want to keep continuing.

“Shameless” Camilla Cabello: This song describes the powerful tension between two people, and how hard it is to resist. Immediately, this reminded me of Nick and Offred, and the unspoken bond between them. They’re human, and that’s not good for Gilead. “My emotions are naked they’re taking me out of my mind,” I believe this lyric portrays how the intimacy is forbidden, so offred not used to the feeling. Offred isn’t used to feeling that kind of connection. I think this song would play when he sees her standing by her window. “Distance inches in between us, I want you to give in, I want you to give in. weakness, tension in between us, I just wanna give in, and I don’t care if I’m forgiven.” This lyric reminds me of the glance Nick offred share. “Nick. We look at each other. I have to rise to toss, he has no lute. But it’s the same kind of hunger, which I can’t indulge.” (192) They both feel the tension and connection between them, and they both know it’s wrong, which makes it harder to resist.

“Tourniquet” Evanescence: The fast pace and intensity of this song express the anxiety and fear offred has about seeing Luke again, and wondering where he is. The song perfectly expresses this feeling. “Do you remember me? Lost for so long, Will you be on the other side? Or will you forget me?” I picked this song because it shows the distressed emotional side of her she is forbidden to express. “Does he know I’m here, alive, that I’m thinking about him? I have to believe so.” (105) She asks herself very similar questions as the song lyrics; she is desperately trying to comfort herself in a way. There’s also the religious aspect in this song too, “I’m dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming. Am i too lost to be saved, am i too lost? My god my tourniquet, return to me salvation.” In Gilead they use religion to control the women in a way, and i think this lyric symbolizes the lack of hope she has left.

“Prayers/Triangle” Deftones: The lyrics in this song are intense and about power and similar themes. I thought this would be perfect for The Handmaid’s Tale. “Prayers laid on the line, you will never be free. You will never be free, I’m a true slave to the fire and the air around you.” This reminds me of how the women are bound to their oppressive rules and the religion that’s been created. How she feels like she desperately needs to escape, and how the girls are so deep into the system they can’t express their humanity. They cant even walk outside wearing normal clothing, everything is restricted, everything is a reconstruction.

Living in Gilead and following its strict societal rules will definitely take a toll on anyone living there. We don’t see a lot of talk about mental health throughout the book, and I think this is because they were being brainwashed and don’t want to let ideas of health get into anyone’s head. We do get some insight into how Offred copes with her world. Chapter 23 starts with Offred lying in her bed, contemplating. “This is a reconstruction. All of it is a reconstruction. “ (134) I interpreted this as her talking about the society as a whole, and how the Martha’s influence the girls to think in a certain way. They show them things from the world outside of Gilead to push them into thinking that they are in a better place, doing things the right way. They’ve been trained to believe that intimacy is a crime and that their only purpose as women is to have children. I found it interesting how she cuts herself off in her thoughts and redirects herself. It’s like she’s snapping out of her thoughts. “If I ever get out of here- Let’s stop there. I intend to get out of here.” (134) This quote stuck out to me in this chapter because it reminds me of a phenomenon that we discussed in class, Meta-narration. This is when, in a book or a song, they break the fourth wall, or call their life a story, or sing a song. It’s interesting because she starts on a topic, then interrupts and corrects herself, exactly like how someone would think in the moment. This shocked me because the rest of the book has been her thoughts, but she hasn’t slipped up or had a moment like this before. I also see a little character growth or reflection from her in a sense, she explains an idea that happened earlier in the book. “But if you happen to be a man, sometime in the future, and you’ve made it this far, please remember: you will never be subjected to the temptation or feeling you must forgive, a man, as a woman.” (134) This made me think of when the handmaids listened to Janine’s story about her experience with sexual assault, and they shamed her for it and said it was her fault. She had to apologize for existing in a way, for ‘tempting’ the men. They yell at her and say it’s her fault. But I don’t think this is her feeling sorry; I think it’s her noticing patterns and reflecting on where she is in this society.

“But remember that forgiveness too is a power. To beg for it is a power, and to withhold or bestow it is a power, perhaps the greatest.” (135) Upon reading this, I first wondered if this is her way of being positive about her situation, or just her honest view of things. She’s referencing herself and the handmaids as the ones withholding the power, the power being fertility and birth. Offred mentioned this powerful idea earlier in the book, too; she is trying to find some sense of control in her situation by acknowledging that this society does need her. On the other hand, when she mentions bestowing that power, she’s referring to the commanders and how they have the ultimate power. But also, in general, there is a power struggle that shows up in different ways. I do wonder what specifically she’s referring to when she says that to beg for forgiveness is a power, maybe the ability to reach someone after wronging them, or it’s something about hope. “Maybe none of this is about control.” “Maybe it’s about who can do what to whom and be forgiven for it.” (135) I notice her talking a lot about forgiveness in this chapter, which confuses me. I wonder if she feels like she can forgive the people who put her through all of this, or if she’s talking about forgiving the commanders and the wives. I believe she sees that no one else really wants to conform to the rules they have set up for them, which we saw during the ceremony. I wonder if there’s a specific person she wants to forgive, or if this isn’t about forgiveness, and it’s just her thinking about her place in society. I also think part of her really wants to find hope for herself and is actively looking for a way out.

Me and Sasha made a heart shape on a graph. We used the topics we learned in class and applied them here. [Here is our benchmark] (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UtE0cnQFes8W3mPAkkhhQhwqULYMvK_scPYefokf_To/edit?usp=sharing)

A sisterly bond and an old barn. A fiery attempt at an escape.