Making Aluminum into Gold

Man I can’t believe Nyla was doing that with Rahmir. Shaking my head. I would never be caught dead doing that shit. I don’t have to ever worry about that I’m too good for the life half these girls living. I cringe at the thought of her yo (says this while laughing). Even putting me and her in the same category is a crime. I’m on a different level in life periodt. And it confuses me on how she keeps trying to talk to me in the lunch line like we’re friends or like she deserve a conversation with me. Like girl get out my face with your hair store lipgloss….this MAC on my lips!” (Said while applying lipgloss)

{Phone buzzes}

Oh snap it’s Jasmine.{Reads message and locks phone} Damn.

Stephanie of all people. I wonder why she did that. But, I don’t know. I just would have never guessed. Maybe I should talk to her.

Should I tell her that I can relate more than she thinks?

I wanted to move on from it, but I don’t want people misunderstanding Stephanie.

Nah. I’ve never talked to her before so why start now? Who knows if I’ll be able to prevent it from happening again.

Maybe I should talk to her.

{The phone rings, she answers}

Hey best. I need ya help. This girl in my class tried to kill herself. I know it’s none of my business but I was wondering if I should talk to her, or should I just leave it alone.

I’m second guessing talking to her about it because me and my friends don’t talk to her like that.

My friends are not messing up my judgment. I know I’ve changed since middle school. But you know I was never able to be part of this crowd in middle school, I’m trying to ya know reinvent myself.

But, I’m scared that it could be stopping me from helping someone.

And my friends don’t know everything about me. Like the reason I take those pills, but I feel like if I tell them I don’t know if they’ll want to hang out with me. Some people see bipolar-depression as being crazy. I’m not crazy. I’m trying to seem as normal as can be.

Omg Stop!

{her bestfriend hangs up, she looks at her phone with her mouth open with shock}

I can’t believe he hung up. All because I don’t know if I should help some girl I barely know.

Who knows if she even wants help.

And I know even if I tell people they might see me differently. I’m trying to be as normal as can be but I’m still not me.

{She starts to breath hard, running her hands through her hair and looking around as if trapped}

I can’t let them know. I already dealt with everything that I needed to. I went through the process of court, therapy, tears, and heartbreak. (All said while panting)

I cant’ even deal with this myself sometimes how am I supposed to help her and prove to her it’ll be ok. I don’t know if it’ll be ok.

How do I tell girls I just met last year that my uncle raped me? How do I say that I was wishing I would die at the age of 10 and then trying to grant my own wish in 8th grade?

I can’t, I can’t go back to how I was. But, I can’t keep faking who I am.

{she looks in the mirror and breathes calmy. She ends up calming herself down}

My problems can help Stephanie though, and if I don’t help her she could end up like me. You know what forget about it, if they’re my friends then they won’t judge me they’ll embrace me and this won’t change the way they see me if this friendship is meant to be.

I’m tired of being aluminum faking to be gold.

Lemme try to find Stephanie’s number.