Death bed - Powfu ft. beabadoobee This song would be playing when Joaquin first talks about Birdie in the book and how they met. On page 53, Joaquin talks about how he met Birdie and the tamales story, then moves on to narrate all the things that lead him to fall in love with her. This song captures the bittersweet feeling of their relationship from beginning, to what he thought was the end. This song is from the perspective of a person on his deathbed, looking back at all the memories they had with the person they loved, wishing that they could spend more time with that person. This song relates to Joaquin because he is in his theoretical deathbed in his relationship with Birdie. He thinks he’s not good enough for Birdie so he breaks up with her, hoping he would be dead to her. He loves her too much to be with her so he takes a step back and thinks he can’t be in her life if he loves her. The first part of the song is, “Don’t stay awake for too long, don’t go to bed, I’ll make a cup of coffee for your head, I’ll get you up and going out of bed.” These lyrics represent Birdie telling Joaquin he doesn’t have to be in his deathbed because she will always be there for him. She will make a cup of coffee for his head and get him up and going out of his deathbed because she loves him and will do anything for their relationship. The next set of lyrics are, “I don’t wanna fall asleep, I don’t wanna pass away, I’ve been thinking of our future cause we’ll never see those days.” These lyrics apply to Joaquin because he doesn’t want to fall asleep and break up with her, but he thinks he has to. Even though he broke up with her, he still loves her so he has been reminiscing about their past but can’t stand to think about their future because he knows they will never see those days. Another line of lyrics are, “My life was kinda short but I got so many blessings, happy you were mine, it sucks that it’s all ending.” This part of the song represents how Joaqin and Birdie’s relationship lasted 263 days, which he knows is a short period of time, but he stated that it was the happiest he has been. He is happy Birdie was once his, and it sucked that they had to break up

Softly - Clairo This song would be playing when Maya first talks about Claire in the book. On page 18, Maya states, “Claire had been a new student at their school last March. Maya could still remember her walking up the front lawn, backpack slung over one shoulder instead of both, like how everyone else on campus wore it. Maya liked her immediately.” This song starts with, “Is it alright to feel this way so early? And in my blood, all the sweet nothings fallin’ in love overnight.” representing how Maya fell for Claire right away. This song is very fun and exciting, just like how Maya was feeling when she was first falling in love with Claire. When Maya saw Claire, she had all these pure-hearted feelings about the way Claire always had chipped nail polish and how her hair never had split ends. This song is very light hearted and innocent, just like their relationship. The lyrics “Touch you softly, I call you late at night, no doubt it isn’t right, but you could be my one and only.” represents how Maya states on page 19, “She loved the way Claire’s hand felt in hers, how her skin could sometimes feel like the softest, most electric thing that Maya had ever touched.”

Fear - Current Joys This song would be playing when Maya’s parents tell her and Lauren about their divorce, then Maya sneaks out and meets Claire. On page 78, Maya states, “She could have every dictionary in the world and it wouldn’t be enough to begin to explain the darkness of that space, the fear of being alone like Grace, unwanted like Joaquin.” This song captures the essence of coming of age and growing up for Maya. The song lyrics, “I never felt it when I was young, I never knew where it came from, now it feels like a hurricane, and it’s so hard to fight the rain.” This line describes how Maya never felt fear when she was younger with her adopted family, but now she’s really scared. She’s scared of being unwanted and feeling alone like Joaq and Grace, because she’s always felt wanted by her family and she was never alone because she had Claire. Now that she is feeling those feelings, it’s spiralling out of control like a hurricane and she can’t stop it. She never felt fear when she was younger because she was adopted into a family that accepted her for who she was, but now when her family is falling apart with her parent’s divorce, it’s like she lost her first line protection. The music also fits perfectly with the emotion of Maya when she’s running away from her house, like she’s trying to run away from her fear and brokenness into the arms of her safe place, who is Claire.

TEAM - BROCKHAMPTON This song would be playing when Joaquin sees Birdie kissing Colin Maller in the hallway toward his english class. This song captures the emotion of this scene, kind of like Joaquin wants Birdie to move on but he wonders if she will ever love the other guy as much as she loved him. When Birdie finally listens to him and moves on, he feels so incomplete and broken, kind of like he doesn’t know what he wants. On page 197, Joaquin states, “Joaquin had thought that nothing would ever hurt as bad as breaking his arm, but he could have broken both arms and legs and it still would have been a drop in the bucket compared to how he felt when he saw Birdie in Colin’s arms.” The lyrics “Evanie, did you lie to him since you were seventeen? How’s he holding up? Evanie, do you cling to him like you would do to me.” This relates to Joaq and Birdie because when he’s seeing her kiss the other guy, he’s like asking “Did you lie to him?” because Birdie stills loves him and he knows it. “Do you cling to him like you would do to me.” this line is saying how Evanie (Birdie) hung onto Joaq after he broke up with her, so he’s wondering if she moved on and if she won’t cling on to him anymore. “Bet he needs you more than I, Evanie.” This lyric is like Joaq; he thinks he’s bad for Birdie and her life would be better without him standing in her way. “You should move on, I swear you’ll be fine, whenever you want, I’ll be your ride” This lyric is like Joaq telling Birdie to move on, saying she’ll be fine, but at that moment when he sees her kiss the other guy, he’s starting to think twice. The music of this song captures Joaquin’s emotions while the lyrics capture his words. His words and the lyrics are saying that Birdie has to move on, but the music and the tone sounds like Joaquin still loves her, like the artist singing the song still loves Evanie.

Out of Love - Alessia Cara This song would be playing when Grace is thinking about Peach and when she’s wondering if Peach will ever hate her like Maya and Joaquin hates their biological mom for giving them away. On page 96 when Peach’s adoption is final, Grace states, “Grace knew that she couldn’t go back, but as she stood in her messy room, one hand over her stomach as if to keep Peach there, she also realized that she had no idea how, exactly, to go forward.” This shows that Grace wasn’t ready to give Peach away permanently. During her pregnancy, she lost many friends, so Peach was really the only person she really talked to, so she really did love Peach. This song is about falling out of love, and this song refers to Grace wondering if Peach will ever love her the way she loved Peach. If she would ever fall out of love for Peach because she basically gave her away. Just like how she wonders if her biological mom loves her. The lyrics say, “I won’t tell you I’m lonely, ‘cause it may be selfish.” This lyric refers to Grace feeling lonely because she lost all of her friends and most importantly Peach, and she thinks telling her parents would be selfish because she felt like she let them down already by being pregnant. The lyrics also say, “Nothing can fill up this space.” which can refer to Grace once saying she felt so empty inside without Peach. Nothing can fill up the emptiness of her heart after giving away Peach. She knew she didn’t want to give away Peach because she loved Peach, but she just couldn’t keep her. The lyrics, “I won’t ask you to hold me, cause that won’t mend what’s helpless.” represents how Grace feels towards her parents. She doesn’t need her parents to hold her because it won’t change the fact that she had to give Peach away to make her parents happy.

Yellow - Coldplay This song would be playing when Grace and Rafe are sitting on top of the roof of Rafe’s car and they almost kiss. It was a moment in their relationship that really showed that they both understood each other and cared deeply about each other. This song captures both of them feeling infinite on page 168, “ ‘You want to sit up?’ ‘Not yet,’ Grace said. ‘You got it,’ Rafe said, then looped his arm over her shoulders more comfortably. ‘We’ve got all the time in the world.’ They didn’t, of course. Grace chose to believe Rafe anyway, as they sat together, lying in wait at the edge of the world.” In this song, they are singing about “Yellow” and yellow is a bright color and brings you hope. Rafe is Grace’s yellow, which is why this song is perfect for this moment in their relationship. Rafe is the one person that listens to Grace and doesn’t run away from her imperfections. Rafe has a deep understanding of Grace and in this moment, they both knew they were supposed to kiss like in the movies, but Rafe knew Grace wasn’t ready.

Stay - Gracie Abrams This song would be playing when Joaq is in the car looking at his baby pictures and he’s thinking about the fight with his parents. He then gets out of the car and finally calls Mark and Linda “Mom and Dad”. I think this song is perfect for this scene because it’s a very bittersweet song and it fits Joaq’s relationship with his parents perfectly. The beat is kind of like a stopwatch or a timer, so this song is like Joaquin looking back at his baby pictures,looking back at the times when he was with his bio-mom, that he doesn’t remember. This is when he realizes the time he has been wasting with Mark and Linda, with not wanting to be adopted. The song starts with the lyrics, “You told me something when I left but I don’t remember, maybe cause all I could do then was stare at the floor.” This line represents all the times Mark and Linda have told him they loved him and wanted to adopt him, but all he could do then was stare at the floor. This line can also specifically refer to the part of the book when Joaq fought with Mark and then he left, and he doesn’t remember what Mark and Linda told him. Linda tells him during the fight on page 200, “We just want to help you, we want to be there for you. We want you to have the world, Joaq! We want so much for you!” The line, “I held myself cause you wouldn’t all wrapped in my sweatshirt, wonder if you even noticed that that one was yours.” reflects on how Joaq perceives family. He always held himself and kept his embrace to himself because he thought no one else would all wrapped up in his presence and so called love. “Wonder if you even noticed that that one was yours.” I think this line is reflecting on how Joaq thinks that Mark and Linda only adopted him to look good, and not for love. On page 201 during their fight, he says, “ ‘Oh yea? You think I don’t see how people look at us when we’re out?’ Joaquin felt his chest tighten just thinking about it. ‘These two white people who rescued the poor brown kid.” It’s like the line saying Mark and Linda were wrapped up in the sweater they thought was Joaq’s love, but really, they just loved how they looked with Joaq. While Grace, Maya and Joaquin were driving back, he was filled with so much emotion, from sadness, happiness, guilt, worry, relief. Mark and Linda were there, waiting for him with open arms. The line “We can try to go back where we started.” refers to Joaq regretting his fight with Mark and he just wants to start clean and go back where they started. On page 182, “But then Mark was reaching into the car and undoing his seat belt and pulling Joaquin to his feet, and then Linda was there, too, wrapping her arms around both of them, and Mark held him steady and said, “It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re not angry,” and Joaquin hung on to them so tight that his arms ached and he thought that this must be what forgiveness felt like, pain and hurt and relief all balled up together, pressing against his heart so that it might burst. ‘Dad,’ he whispered. ‘Mom.’ Joaquin’s parents just held him tighter.”