It’s a very natural response to connect music to emotions or memories. When reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Attwood I was able to connect specifically with the characters and their relation to one another with certain songs. I made a playlist of 5 songs that relate to the plot, characters, and overall feeling of reading the emotional novel.

Not A Lot, Just Forever- Adrianne Lenker Every character has a want or desire in this story. Offred wants her old life back, she wants her daughter, Luke, to have freedom. Serena Joy wants a child, she wants to have a purpose and take care of something that she doesn’t have the ability to create. In this song the line “Your dearest fantasy is to grow a baby in me.” speaks loudly to Offred and Serena’s relationship. In chapter 31 Serena pulls Offred aside to propose a different path in impregnating her. She is willing to risk punishment for the both of them by asking Offred to try to conceive a baby with Nick in secret. This surprises Offred and makes her realize how deeply Serena wants a child. “This idea hangs between us, almost visible, almost palpable: heavy, formless, dark; collusion of a sort, betrayal of a sort. She does want that baby” (205). “not a lot, just forever” is a song that speaks about a repetitive small action that happens again and again, over time that holds a great amount of meaning and power. This could be seen as the ritual all handmaids must go through. So not only does this specific line connect to the characters in “The Handmaid’s Tale” but the overall meaning is a clear theme in the book as well.

The Other Woman- Lana Del Rey The relationships between the Commander, Serena, and Offred are all very complex. The Commander doesn’t seem to hold much interest in Serena anymore. And has then tried to make a special connection with Offred in private, an emotional connection. The theme of affairs comes up quite frequently, looking back on the relationship between Offred and Luke we learn that Offred was “The other woman.” And once again, she is cheating with the Commander in a way. In this song the line “The other woman will never have his love to keep” stuck out to me in particular when studying the connection between the two pieces of media. This could connect both to Offred and the Commander or Serena and the Commander. Offred doesn’t get to pursue a real relationship with the Commander, she can’t fall in love with him and doesn’t get to know she is loved either. Serena has now lost a connection with the Commander. She cannot provide a child for him and therefore they are bridged by this gap in their relationship. Offred notices that Serena is often held up in different rooms of the house keeping busy. “Many of the wives have such gardens” (12). She doesn’t yet have the role of mother and because her relationship is so structured and his emotional connection is going straight to Offred she is stuck trying to fill her need to contribute to her marriage.

Pushing It Down and Praying- Lizzy McAlpine This song describes sexual guilt in quite a blunt way, walking through the mind of the artist craving the want to be needed, and the guilt that may follow. Margaret Atwood uses a similar technique when walking the reader through Offred’s relationship with sex in the new world. Offred and Ofglen are walking through the small town when they pass two Guards. Offred knows the guards are watching them closely, she knows that she is off limits and uses this power. “I move my hips a little… it’s like teasing a dog with a bone held out of reach, and I’m ashamed of myself for doing it.” (22). This quote reminded me of the line of my chosen song; “I wanna feel guilty, I wanna feel that it’s wrong.” Offred holds little power in her life, but because everything is surrounded by her body’s purpose she can use her “forbidden fruit” to feel like she is in control. Just like how Lizzy McAlpine is describing how she wants to feel like what she is doing with her body is “wrong”, she describes how she holds that same power.

Mother- John Lennon Throughout the book the reader gets small snippets of the relationship between Offred and her mother. When she has flashbacks she recalls usually upsetting memories of her mother and her strong views. In this song the line “I wanted you, but you didn’t want me” connects to a particular memory Offred shared. When she was a young her mother took her to the park but ended up spending time with her friends instead, burning magazines. Offred says “Saturdays were supposed to be my day” (38). She wanted her mother but her mother didn’t want her. John Lennon also wrote “I couldn’t walk, I tried to run.” This reminded me of how Offed made the decision to be a handmaid when her mother would have been an unwomen. Her mom was known to protest -as she came up in the video shown to the Handmaids of the old world- and always wanted Offred to be more outspoken. Offred was too young but more responsible than her mom. And when the new world began she didn’t fight back but became a handmaid.

Savior Complex- Phoebe Bridgers The Commander’s relationship with Offred evolved into a deep emotional connection. At first this was quite confusing to both Offred and the reader. Considering it is dangerous for them to meet privately it seems odd that he would go out of his way to play scrabble with her, and let her read old magazines. It wasn’t until later that Offred learns that the handmaid before her killed herself. The Commander was immensely guilty for her death and wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Offred could bear her experience a little more. In this song, Bridgers states “emotional affair, overly sincere”. I felt that this line couldn’t describe the relationship between the Commander and Offred better. The Commander has a strong savior complex from his past experiences and is now trying to “save” Offred from the miserable world she is forced to live in. He tries to do this by giving her special treatment, and small glimpses into her past life.

Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5iU8NV6mbCotyDzsqFwi1O?si=YuG3JZyYRdGaAbwiUGTNBw

While reading “The Handmaid’s Tale” By Margaret Atwood I was able to pinpoint my own emotions that aligned with the protagonist Offred throughout the pages 50, 51, and 52. This small section includes Offred’s space and the thoughts that live there alongside her. She speaks about taking the time and appreciating her room. She is left with a lot of responsibility but even more time. So when she can finally call her room, hers she takes the chance to analyze each corner, and crack in the wall. “There has to be some space, finally, that I claim as mine, even in this time” (50). Offred has finally accepted her room as hers, not just a room. I feel myself through this moment as I am very particular about my space. My room represents me in every which way, and I wouldn’t be able to call in mine unless I truly felt I belonged. I moved from my childhood room to my older brother’s when he went to college. I had a new space and wasn’t sure how to fill it in a way that would make it feel like mine. Over the years I have hung new items from the walls, ceilings, bookshelves, etc. I live under a canopy of pictures, paintings, postcards, and polaroid pictures. All of which make my space, mine. Offred speaks about hotel rooms, the freedom and experience that comes with them and how she regrets not being able to appreciate those moments now. “How I wasted them, those rooms, that freedom from being seen.” (50). There are many moments in my life I look back on and know I will never get to experience again. Like the freedom of being a child, only worrying about my next playdate and what my dad packed in my lunch. I crave the lack of responsibility I had and there are times I wish I could go back to experience that freedom all over again with more appreciation. This feeling is frustrating and when it comes along there isn’t much to do. Offred’s life was taken from her so suddenly, all of her norms disappeared and the freedom she had was ripped from her. Looking back on all she had, she wishes she could go back just to experience it again, with much more gratitude. It’s hard to really acknowledge that the moments we live through are crucial until we eventually know we will never be able to live those memories again. Nostalgia is a very powerful feeling, it’s connected to what we once knew and comes suddenly creating an overwhelming sense of happiness, sadness, grief, and appreciation. It’s something you can find while sitting on the train not giving your mind any boundaries to reminisce, or through smelling the perfume of your preschool teacher on a stranger, or through finding a song you played on repeat during a rough time in your life while your playlist is on shuffle. Offred is left with heaps of time with only memories to keep her entertained, she describes the feeling of nostalgia when thinking about her husband Luke. “I have them, these attacks of the past, like faintness, a wave sweeping over my head” (52). This is what nostalgia feels like to me. Missing something I once had, reminiscing, remembering. The physical emotion makes you want to put a hand over your chest and rest your eyes, feel the moment all over again. While exploring the closet in her small room, Offred finds a message engraved into the hardwood floor. It reads in a language she doesn’t understand, but the pure fact it was there in the first place sent hope coursing through her. “It was intended for whoever came next” (52). Offred believes that this very note was a sign, had a purpose, and was meant to be seen by someone like her. This little bit of hope helps her stay positive. Similarly, I look for things that are small specs of hope in my life. Little signs from the universe. Most likely they are coincidences, chance, or won’t affect me at all. But locking eyes with my lucky number gives me a small pang of comfort. Sometimes it’s nice to take things as a sign, see a message and make it for you. Apply it to your life and give yourself an inside joke.
` There are many ways I could connect to this book, but through this section, going through her thought process I could see myself in the pages. I think in a very similar way and I feel even in this small section where the reader walks through not only Offred’s space but also her mind makes it easy to connect with this part of the character.

This quarter I have used my notebook for journals, class and table discussions, activities, notes, and more. Having a notebook has made it easy for me to prepare for POD discussions, other projects and my benchmark. In quarter one I learned different methods of note organization which I have carried into this quarter and plan to keep for quarter three.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zjnn3CEPNCU4GlXHIAathDWsGMHGzSzH/view?ts=63c9a96b

This quarter I have used my notebook for journals, class and table discussions, activities, notes, and more. Having a notebook has made it easy for me to prepare for POD discussions, other projects and my benchmark. In quarter one I learned different methods of note organization which I have carried into this quarter and plan to keep for quarter three. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zjnn3CEPNCU4GlXHIAathDWsGMHGzSzH/view?ts=63c9a96b

For this benchmark my partner and I created and graphed a design. We applied all of our in class concepts to this project.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14O9Cw9gr9EdBRmmfps8zJaTGR_aOQJHi8MHKtq6mVQo/edit

notebook video My notebook the quarter has helped me a lot with my notetaking skills, and my skills as reader and observer. I feel I have grown a lot through note taking since the beginning of the year. I now organize my notes more efficiently and in ways that help me find past discussions. I now focus more on my classmates thoughts and opinions as they have helped me a lot through the many different projects this quarter. I plan to continue to take notes like this and move forward with other styles to help me through the rest of the year.

This is my first project in English. I hope you enjoy!