Riviere, Lit Log #2, Secret Relationships

Secret Relationships

College English Ms. Pahomov Beau Riviere October 13th, 2025

Reading Chapter 23 of the Handmaid’s Tale I found the scene in the Commander’s Study gave me a whole new view on how the people in power are actually affected by the system they created. When I read the moment where Offred is summoned to the Commander’s forbidden room and plays Scrabble with him and later finds out he wants a kiss from her, I was surprised by this moment. But what really intrigued me was trying to understand why he wanted this type of relationship with Offred at all.

Offred describes her approach to this moment with the Commander with fear and thinking about the ways she could be punished for it. She says “My presence here is illegal. It’s forbidden for us to be alone with the Commander”(136). This detail goes into how women are supposed to be just the things in the society that are able to give birth which makes it clear how restricted her existence is. Although as I continued to read this section I realized that the Commander was also restricted just in a completely different way.

When the Commander reveals he wants to play scrabble with her, I was taken back at first. But then I started thinking about what this really means. Offred describes his nervousness and how “sheepish” he looks, like “the way men used to look once”(138). He’s embarrassed to ask for something so simple. This made me realize that the Commander is starving for something his own regime has taken away from him. He can’t play scrabble with his wife , or have a normal conversation with her, or be a regular person anymore because Gilead has turned him into something else.

I think what surprised me the most was realizing that even those who are in power are trapped by the system they created. The Commander has all the control he could and authority that he could possibly want, but he’s so isolated and lonely that he has to sneak a Handmaid into his study room just to have a conversation with someone who can think for themselves. He is willing to break the rules that he enforces because he needs to feel like a normal human. He has this want and need to be seen as a regular person and not just a Commander.

The way Offred describes the Scrabble game shows how much it means to him to be doing such a simple activity. She says “The feeling is voluptuous. This is freedom, an eyeblink of it”(139). But I realized that Offred isn’t the only one experiencing freedom from this moment. The Commander is too. For him having someone to talk to and play a game with is like finding a crack in the wall that he built around himself. He is so desperate for human connection that he’s willing to risk everything to have it.

What really made me interested in why the Commander wanted this was understanding that his need for Offred isn’t just about romance or attraction in a normal sense. It’s about his need to connect with someone who can understand him and who he can be somewhat of himself around. In Gilead the Commander is surrounded by people who fear him and the power he has, but no one actually knows him on a personal level. He has created a world where he has total control but no real connection and that’s making him miserable.

Another thing that showed me how desperate the Commander is was the way he asked Offred to kiss him like she meant it. He says “Not like that”(140). This moment revealed that what he actually wants isn’t just physical affection. He wants to be wanted by someone else. He wants someone to choose him, not because they have to, but because they actually care and want to. This is something Gilead has made impossible for him with his Wife or anyone else in his position. The rules that kept Offred as just a womb also keep him from ever having a genuine relationship.

By having Offred come to his study in secret the Commander is essentially admitting that the system he represents is broken. He has the power and the control, but he’s completely alone. He needs her to need him back even if that need is complicated and dangerous. He’s looking for someone who understands what freedom and normalcy used to feel like. Someone who remembers that life could be different.

Overall the scene in Chapter 23 where the COmmander and Offred are together alone provided me with a new view on how the system built in Gilead affects and hurts everyone involved. What surprised me the most was understanding that the Commander’s need for Offred isn’t a sign of weakness in him, rather it’s a sign of how suffocating Gilead’s system is. Even those in power are starving for something their regime does not allow, which is genuine human connection and to be truly seen by another human.