New World
Omi! I missed you a lot today. (silence, mother asks question) Oh… my first day of American school was interesting. (Looks uncertain to continue) Oh, I’m fine, just a little tired from today. (silence) It went well for the most part. Like, when I first got to the front doors, it was so good to see everything so far was going smoothly. The bad men seemed nowhere in sight…(silence mom asks who the bad men were) You know the bad men, that have ruined our home, the reason we ran to here in the first place, but let me continue you to tell you mommy. Everyone was safe and whole, but many people also looked very glum and tired.This still confuses me because who would not be excited to attend school in a place where students only have to worry about school, whilst at school! Back in Damascus, I would sit in Mr.Hasan’s class and the numbers reminded me of how many people we have lost, and how our numbers are exponentially declining. I figured the numbers and signs should have made me think of equations, however I only would think of equations that would include something of a miracle, variable “x”, plus ourselves, equalling a better life for you, Amina and I. Ms. Aisha’s class reminded me of misery and sadness instead of actual literature itself. (silence) No, no ,no. I loved Ms.Aisha, but I will never forget when she glumly walked into class, with tears streaming down her face. We didn’t know why Allah would make someone so beautiful and kind sad. And when she told us her house had been bombed while her husband and her son were still inside, I just lost it (silence). (Wipes mother's tears away) Oh, mommy, do not cry, all we can do is pray that they are in Jannah (heaven). Why do these things happen to innocent people, including a beautiful man, who had been married to his beautiful wife for only two years, and his beautiful son that had only been alive for a year. (holds and looks down at mother’s hands). Anyway… before I went to my first class, a loud bell sounded throughout the school, surprising me at first. It has been the first time in months that a frightening sound has not been followed by a painful, bloody event. After 30 minutes of roaming around, I eventually find my first class, debate.“ Hello,my name is Shariah Abdulla”, I told the teacher, who looked to be kind, Alhamdulillah. “Oh! the new girl, of course, of course, Welcome!”, he replied enthusiastically. After a little introduction to the class, telling them my age and favorite hobby, I sat down behind a girl with a crown of golden on her haid. She turned around and sort of snickered and pointedly observed my hijab(headscarf). “Where are you from?” she asked like there was something up her nose. When I told her I was from Syria, she said something like, “Yup, I figured. Well...this class should be interesting for you. Have fun”. And with that she turned away, not without giving a sickly smile first(silence, mother comments). You think that was suspicious! Wait till I tell you what happened after that. The teacher announced that the topic we would be debating this month was… I forget what it exactly said...but it was mainly about whether or not Syrian refugees should be let into the United States. I didn’t know much about debate, but I knew there were always two sides to anything. The side that would reject Syrian refugees was harder for me to understand. “Yesterday was all about exploring the pro side, now today we will explore the con”, he said something along the lines of that. Before you know it, the girl who sat in front of me shot her hand in the air. “ One argument against syrian refugees is that they could most likely be terrorists, and we should not let terrorists into our home!”. Oh mama, I wished I had been brave enough to tell them we were running away from these terrorists, that we were the ones being hurt the most by the type of people who planned the Paris attacks. I wanted to tell them that my religion has taught me to be peaceful, and not violent, but It was my first day after all. I didn’t want to stand out. (silence, mom says something comforting) I know you think I should stand out because I’m special to you, what a mom thing to say (speaker smiles, then let’s go of mother’s hands). I have some debate homework. I’m gonna let it speak for me, because God knows it’s too early on to speak for myself. But that day will come, when my words will reflect my opinion even more than my schoolwork does. I believe in myself because you believe in me.
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