Language Autobiography

       Identity can be defined as who you are, and many times we can elucidate a person based on their qualities, characteristics and personalities, but more commonly, their language. Having numerous languages that you use, depending on the appropriate situation, can closely be related to a complete change of personality- almost bipolar. But if you do not have one true identity or you are constantly changing your identity depending on the circumstances, then you are not being true to yourself. This is commonly know as “code switching”, but code switching is changing specific parts or areas of your language, but when a large portion, the majority of the language you speak, is changed you can take on different characteristics and traits. That is when it becomes more than just code switching.

       The first time I encountered a small taste of “code switching,” I was no more than 7 years old. It was when I first began elementary school, and as I will repeat continuously, Philadelphia, and my neighborhood are two very different things. Its like as soon as you take one step on my block, it’s a totally different world. You see everybody collaborating with each other, cleaning the sidewalks and the curbs- everything all works together- even our language. Now I’m not saying this doesn’t happen in Philadelphia, but it doesn’t happen as often. On Camac Street, it happens all the time. Everyone on the block even spoke the same language. Everybody on Camac Street could understand everything everybody says, because there was no slang terms involved, no abbreviations of words or shorter pronunciation of phrases. Everybody spoke the same formal way. My neighborhood and Philadelphia were polar opposites, and this is exactly what showed when I went to the first grade.

       Everyday, I went to school, in hopes of learning and beginning my very long process of preparing for the rest of my life, but what happened in my school changed me into an entirely different person. I was continuously immersed with the sound of stinging curse words, to various new phrases that describe anything from, having sex to using drugs. At the time, I was thought all kids my age knew what I was just learning, but as I look back- I realize that no children should be hearing what I heard- and I’m including the kids that taught me this new language, because I know they had to learn it from somewhere also. And this is why I think code switching had been a huge part of my life through my elementary school. It was like I was talking to adults, rather than children, but when I arrived home I knew I couldn’t talk the way I talked at school because the words that I were using were not appropriate to say in front of anyone, and I knew that if I wasn’t comfortable with saying something in front of my grandparents, I knew I was doing something wrong.

       The typical language we spoke at home was formal but easy- I was comfortable with speaking it. But the restrictions and rules kept me in my 7-year old place. I knew I wasn’t allowed to say the words they were saying at school because I knew what my restrictions were at home. At home, I knew I would be put on time-out or punished if I said a word like darn, or crap or even heck. So, when I was introduced to that new language at school I knew what would happen if those words were mentioned at home.

       The language in which I learned to talk at school was nowhere close to appropriate for me to use at home, so I had to code switch, but little did I know, that this was the beginning of a process that will lead me to change the act, speak and even think differently, as if I had to change who I was altogether for any given situation. The vulgar new language that I was introduced to from 1^st to 2^nd grade follows me to this very day. I’m not proud of what I learned, but amazingly, it has enabled me to take pieces of what I learned to fit in with those who stay around me. I know that when I was began elementary school, I thought everybody else was the weird people, and I was the only one who spoke regularly, and appropriately. But now that I look at may life, leading up to now, I realize that I was the only weird one not speaking the appropriate language. This was first displayed when I moved schools from my Ellwood Elementary School to the school that I will spend the next 8 years of my life.

       Although elementary school to middle school was already a big enough transition, I was moving to a boarding school. Years ago, about 7, I moved to a new school- a very new school. I transitioned from a normal elementary public school, to a military boarding school that was located in Scotland, PA. When I arrived at the school my cottage family welcomed me warmly. I wasn’t quite familiar with any of them but we were going to be the only family I had for the neat few months- until we get our first break. After I began to get a little more acquainted with the people, I began to pick up some new vocabulary. The funny thing was that 87% of the entire school was from Philadelphia, including myself. But originally, I understood what the suburban kids, the more white kids, were saying. But I couldn’t quite understand what the other people were saying. 

       One afternoon, after I was finished my daily chores, one of my closest friend asked me a question that I never heard before, but I don’t stop hearing it, let alone using it, today. He asked "Yo, young bull, u trine ball up?" after about the first week of school I figured out what young bull was, but that was the first time I ever heard the phrase "ball up". The only ball I knew of was like a sports ball, or like your "balls". So at that point I jus asked what's that. 
He replied "u trine go ball?" 
Little did he know? I was still just as confused as before, if not more? Suddenly a young white female came and kindly explained what he was saying.
"He just wants to know if you want to go play basketball." 
I could not have been more grateful, nor could her timing have been any more perfect, for if she hadn’t come I probably would have just stood there like a lost idiot, because I had no clue about what he just said.

       Now, that I reflect on that day, I realize just how common it is for people to code-switch and how often it occurs. But, what I still don’t understand is how she was able to present a phrase such as that, and translate it into terms, and a tone, that I could understand. Because she was able to understand both what he was saying, and what I    needed to understand. This evidence of multiple code switching scenarios portray the topic of personality switching.

       After that minor altercation, I knew that my cousins had seen and heard both a side and a language of me that they had never experienced before. After we were done arguing, my cousins had replied with confusion and dumbfoundedness. This indicated that they didn’t know what I was saying but later that very night more evidence of me having an "alter ego" was displayed.

       While my cousins’ mother was in the kitchen with my nana, her sister, she asked her "was that TJ? I never seen him that angry before. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him angry at all.

       Surprised, my nana replied with wide eyes "what? TJ is a hothead."
The new and enlightened Aunt Terri replied with a smile... "Wow." She had been baffled. "I never knew that."

        And she never would have if I had not been arguing with my aunt in the first place, because that was my aunt and it wasn't relevant that I ever had to display that side of me. So, I changed my entire personality to ensure hat I was not goofy or angry or even senseless at times. But this is where the problems come in, and its not a problem in public or to society, its within yourself. If you are constantly changing yourself to fit certain peoples, places scenarios or whatever, you will never stay true to yourself. Because you will never know what is the true you, its like you've lost your identity to yourself. My friend Cecelia could not have said it better "… I was born with a disease. This is called never finding you identityitus. It’s pretty common and mostly found within those who tend to not know their true identity… This disease has only onecure… Listen to your voice."