Domestic Violence

My name is Emily. The topic I chose is domestic violence. Every year too many people are victims of domestic violence. About 1 in 3 women and 1 in 14 men are physically abused by an intimate partner .

A common misconception for victims of domestic violence are that it is purely physical violence. In some relationships there are violent threats made. Also there are many relationships where one partner is basically imprisoned in their own home. Another common misconception is that only women are affected by domestic violence. Male domestic violence charity The ManKind Initiative say that for every three victims of partner abuse, two will be female and one will be male. Domestic violence against men is real but not as recognized as much as domestic abuse against women.

I’ve lived through domestic violence. I watched my father hit my mother for years. Then came along my stepfather. He was just as bad. He hit my mother just as bad as my father did. I remember from when I was as young as 3 my father getting angry and punching walls and doors then eventually my mother would try to calm him down and he would hit her. My mother grew up in a home with an abuser. Her father was extremely abusive towards her mother and her. This being all she knew she married my father who abused her as well. After he left when I was 3 my mother remarried in 2010. This time everything was fine for about a year. Then he began to get angry and hit the doors and walls. Then my mother didn’t want my siblings and I to see him like this. She would then try to calm him down. This bringing him to do the same thing my father did. He would hit her. He left numerous bruises in her arms and legs. He stayed for 4 years before he left. My sister spent 9 days at a mental hospital for suicidal thoughts. She was so depressed. After the first day she was there my stepfather left. As soon as things got hard he left us.

Around 20 people are physically abused by an intimate partner per minute. Many victims never speak up about their experiences for fear that their abuser may find them. Other people never even escape abusive homes. They are to scared of being further abused if they are found escaping. There are also some cases where people are in denial about the abuse they are going through. In these cases people see the situation as normal. My mother thought that everything was normal for years until my father made her wear long sleeves in the summer to cover the bruises. He wanted everyone to think we were a normal family. To the public most relationships are completely normal but behind closed doors too many relationships have an abuser who controls their partner's every move. Domestic violence is an act of control. All acts of abuse are about controlling. Weather or not your partner keeps you from going out or physically abuses you, all of it is about control.

A woman named Lovern Gordon shared her domestic violence story to the huffington post. In her story she explains that she was given the option of her abuser or her friends and family. Being “young” she said she chose him. She said that the first time he hit her she thought it was a one time thing. He apologized and she thought it was over. Over the next month he became more and more violent. He slapped and punched her in private. Behind closed doors was a whole different story to what was seen outside. There was an altercation between her abuser and her brother and he again asked her to choose between him or her family. She was in denial and she again chose him. Over the course of the remainder of their relationship he continuously told her that he loved her. He got even more violent he kicked and choked her. SH thought since he apologized and said he loved her it was okay. There was one particular night, the night she finally got the help she needed where he beat her so bad and threatened to kill her that she thought she may die that night. In this case she was lucky. She got the help she needed. She was lucky. Too many people die from not seeking the help they need.

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