Control in Love: Is it there anymore?

“The Taming of the Shrew” features a few different stories woven together, but one of the most notable is Petruchio’s efforts to “tame” the wild-tempered Katherine. It was written in early 1500s England, when women were expected to get married, have children, and raise a family. The film, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, was made more recently, in 2002. The film tells the story of Fortoula’s attempts to court Ian Miller, despite her family’s strong devotion to the Greek religion and the fact that Ian is not Greek.

These two stories involve some form of romantic love, but was that love even real? “The Taming of the Shrew” certainly implies the interesting idea that romantic love is a myth meant to disguise the truth that marriage is about control. Would a more modern feature film reflect that times have changed? Yes, it would; it has resulted in the idea that the control parts of marriage are dying down, and the love is shining through the cracks. While there is still an element of control in marriage, it is not as prevalent today as it was in the time “The Taming of the Shrew” was written. Today, audiences expect that the control part of marriage has died down, except for parental influence, and that romantic love has become more real.

“thy lord, thy king, thy governor” (Act 5, Scene 2, 154)

This is one noteworthy part of Katherine’s big speech at the end of the play. She was ordered by her husband, Petruchio, to say this to remind the women in the scene of their place. In this section, she refers to the husband as the lord, the king, the governor, meaning that they were the one in charge and had total control.

And they did have total control, at the time. This idea is less regarded in modern works, like “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.”

“The man may be the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can bend the head any way she wants.” This quote and the screenshot are from the scene where Fortoula’s mother encourages her to persuade her father to let her get a job outside of the family’s restaurant. his quote is interesting, but other members of the audience might not catch its importance on first watch. It basically says that while the man is still the head of the house, the woman can influence him. This would suggest that as time went on, control in marriage shifted from total male dominance to a system where the power shifts between the two partners.

“I’ll curb her mad and headstrong humor.” (Act 4, Scene 2, 119)

This is an excerpt from one of Petruchio’s “game day speeches,” where he reveals that he plans to “tame” Katherine the same way the people of that time tamed falcons, which is through starvation and lack of sleep. In this section of the speech, he says that he’ll “curb” Katherine’s “mad and headstrong humor.” Although not everyone can understand Shakespearean text, the reader should know that he’s saying that he’ll quiet Katherine’s temper. He wants to change something about Katherine, which implies that for a relationship to happen, women have to change something about themselves to appease the man. Katherine tried to resist Petruchio, but he was too persistent. Additionally, the play allowed this to be okay because it was written as an over-the-top satire. However, the message is still there.

Women used to have to change something about themselves to make themselves more appealing to men. They don’t have to anymore.

In the early parts of the movie, I noticed a couple similarities between Fortoula and Katherine. Fortoula doesn’t have as bad a temper, but I still saw some connections. There was a pressure on her to get married, she had a sister who was described as “perfect” by Fortoula herself, as she married a Greek man and has three kids, and they wanted something more than what they had. Fortuola also went through a change, wearing contact lenses and more colorful outfits. However, this change happened because of a new job, not because of a guy. This would mean that changing to appease a man is optional for women. In the later parts of the movie, Fortoula became more similar to Bianca, as she actually likes her suitor, Ian.

“When the special thing is well obtained, that is, her love,” (Act 2, Scene 1, 135-136)

This was a part of a quote from Baptista, Katherine and Bianca’s father, where he tells Petruchio that if he wants to marry Katherine, he has to earn her love. It has always been tradition for the boy to ask the girl’s father for permission before he could start dating her. This tradition possibly lasted as long as courtship itself, showing that parents have as much influence in dating as the couple themselves. It is evident in the play that Baptista wants Katherine to get married, as he reveals in the first scene he appears in that he will not let his younger daughter, Bianca, get married until she does. However, he still puts up a challenge to see if Petruchio is good enough to marry Katherine.

Additionally, Baptista did not influence the control parts of marriage. It was never made clear if he was even aware of what Petruchio was putting Katherine through. If he was, it’s likely that he didn’t care, as it was normal for the husband to take dominance for his wife at the time.

Today, the only control aspects of marriage come from parental influence.

Like Baptista, Gus, Fortoula’s father, wants his daughter to get married, but still judges the potential mate. In the case of the movie, he wants Fortoula to marry a Greek man, but Ian, Fortoula’s love interest, is not Greek. Gus judges Ian throughout the movie, even after he is baptized into the Greek religion, for not being born Greek. He also cites the factor that Ian did not ask his permission to date Fortoula as a factor for his judgement, saying that a respectable man would have asked him for permission. He also says that he knows nothing about Ian. Gus may believe that Windex can work as an all-purpose medicine, but he was sensible to be wary about a guy who he knew nothing about and was also dating his daughter, although it did turn out good in the end.

The control aspects of marriage has died down, but parental/familial influence on marriage has not. In the 16th century, the control aspects of marriage were prevalent, as they were made blatantly obvious to the reader in “The Taming of the Shrew”. However, this idea of control in marriage is not there anymore, aside from the occasional thing about who “wears the pants” in a relationship. If control was still a part of marriage, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” didn’t focus on it. Instead, it focused on the romantic relationship between Fortoula and Ian. The only “control” parts of their marriage came from Fortoula’s family, who took over much of the wedding plans.

Work Cited:

William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew

Joel Zwick (director) and Nia Vardalos (writer), My Big Fat Greek Wedding