Advanced Essay #1: FEAR

Advanced Essay #1: FEAR

By: Caresten Lyn’ae Moses

My goals for this essay was to tell about how my fears affected me and to let the readers know that it is okay to have fears, as long as you try to get over them. I am proud that I was able to share my experiences with fear. I’m glad that I was able to give vivid details of my fears along with my feelings. If I was to improve my writing, I would plan out what I want to do and then I would have a better idea of what I want to write about and ideas could flow more freely.

Fear is a part of you and me. It’s apart of growing up. Whether it’s fear of dogs to heights, to asking a certain question, we all have fears. Having fears is totally normal. It’s about how you overcome those fears. In life, you can’t run from your problems or fears. You have to toughen up, muster up the courage and face your fears. It is one of the scariest things to do, but once you finally conquer your fear, you feel unstoppable and it easily turns into the greatest feeling. I know. I have been fearful of things in my life, and I felt stuck until I just needed that extra push or a sign to tell me to just face it.

I felt the push of a familiar big hand. There I was. Every step feeling so heavy. The music was loud and the lights were hot. As I stepped out onto the stage, I looked forward into the audience. I couldn’t focus on one face. As I looked further into the crowd, I saw the bright, blinding lights from cell phones filming. I then looked to the side of me when I saw the other girls in their pink sequin covered leotards and tutus. I saw the bright, blinding lights from cell phones filming. In this moment, I looked to the side of me into the wing of the stage. I saw my teacher counting off for us to start. I saw her mouth say, “5, 6, 7, 8.” I remembered why I was there in the first place. I glanced down at my arms that had goosebumps on them. I get the same cold, terrified, stiffening feeling every time I get on stage. It was time. My feet started gliding across the floor and I started to flow through the dance routine. I remembered to smile and show personality— To go full out on my movements and to keep going if I messed up. All these things the dancer teachers tell you to remember to do while dancing. It was so difficult to do all of that while dancing though. I was almost finished the dance, and my mini solo part was approaching. I remember my transition. The swift movement I had to do to get to my spot. I did it. I really did!

Dancing in my room when nobody is watching is so much different than performing in front of hundreds of people who are watching your every move. Fear is what held me back for so long. Once I finally got over that fear it all started coming together and things were easier. Fear seems so hard to overcome when you are older. Every little thing is frightening.

As I got into the car, I immediately popped in my headphones and shut the world out. I knew my parents wanted to ask me a thousand and one questions, but I didn’t care. I listened to my music and scrolled on Instagram until I fell asleep. I knew the ride home was going to be a long one. Since I was a small child, there was always something about the bumping and stopping and vibrations from the car that I enjoyed so much. As I laid my whole body across the cold leather seat, I drifted off to sleep. All of a sudden I was in a room. A dark, stale, cold, small room. This room was unusual. I tried to stand up but my head hit the ceiling. I must be trapped in a box, I thought. No. How did I get here? I heard a scratching noise. I turned behind me and it stopped. I looked forward again, and the noise continued. Suddenly, there was a small light. I could see a large hand with red gloves holding a lighter. I looked in the back of the lighter and saw a white painted face with a red painted smile. OH My GOD. CLOWNS IN THE DARK. Those were my two biggest fears. This really couldn’t be happening. I was shaking. Finally, I said this has to stop. I pushed the clown into the wall and shouted, “I’m not afraid of you!” The sight of the clown faded away and I woke up.

There’s always been something about dreams that make them seem so wickedly real. When I have a good dream that’s never a problem but I have a nightmare it’s the scariest thing. Fear is just a temporary thing. What I’ve learned throughout my 16 years of life is that if you don’t face your fears, you will be stuck thinking you can’t get passed them. Fears will hold you back forever, restricting you from accomplishing your goals. It is extremely necessary to muster up the strength and courage to face your fears head on.