A not so happy new year (Q3 BM) English revision Q4BM

This is my favorite piece by myself and it was a rather upsetting time for me. I started my new year off with an argument with my step dad. It escalated and at the time I wished that the New year had never came.

“A Not So Happy New Year.” – By: Victoria Yarbrough.

New Year’s is such a joyous occasion. Being with family, seeing people that I haven’t seen for months, and feeling the triumphant feelings of getting through one more year (Magic Three). However, the “joy” of New Year’s was cut short for me. My step-dad and I had an argument that ruined my New Year’s and days to come. We were all at my Aunt Teresa’s house having a good time seeing family again. Everything was going smooth. We were all dancing, hugging, and eating. (Magic Three)  Like being asked to marry (Simile), it felt unexplainably great to see them again. After the ball dropped and everyone screams “Happy New Year!” my mom, dad, and I sit down for a while and begin talking. We were talking about how glad we were to start fresh and what were our thoughts of 2010.

 

We all agreed that 2010 was a trying year and that we were going to make the best out of 2011. My stepdad and I begin talking about the events of 2010 and how we were going to change. Him and me have had some issues in the past, like all stepchildren I just didn’t feel that he possessed the authority to tell me what to do. This caused sizzling hot (Imagery) arguments, and dark (Imagery) mean words to occur just about every day. How can you expect me to respect you if you don’t even know the first thing about me? And when I asked him this he got upset and began yelling at me. “ Oh, but when I am throwing money in your damn face everything is all cool and I’m your dad huh? But when I tell you to clean your room I’m just a stranger to you”. (Dialogue)  When it’s not even about that, “I just don’t feel that you should be yelling at me when you don’t know the first thing about me.” I replied. (Dialogue) So we drove home. All the while my step-dad is yelling at us. I remained silent while my mom took the back lashes (Imagery) for me. She was trying to defend me and explain my point. I felt helpless and stupid. How could I just sit there and listen to “Shut the Fuck up” (Dialogue), and “You don’t even matter” (Dialogue)? I still look back and think how I should have defended my mom. Seeing her cry made me hate him from an unknown place within me (Imagery). He has me mistaken because I don’t think that way. Why would I? I’m not some self center egotistic manic or a user. We arrived home and I went upstairs to my room and slammed the door as hard as I could.  With the anger doing tap dancing inside of me, I picked up an old juice bottle and threw it at the wall of my room. ‘CRASH’ (Onomatopoeia). He hollered at me through the door as if I had no right. I was furious. I was here before him! It’s practically my house next to my mom. Who did he think he was? Sometimes I despised him. The way he paraded around the house as if he was the boss, as if he were my real dad! No! He would never replace my real father. I locked the door of my room so he wouldn’t get in. I wasn’t in the mood for him, not tonight, not on new years. It was quarter to 2, and my mother began to knock on my door. I didn’t answer. The sound of rushing pounds (Imagery) came to be annoying. Constant bangs against my door. “BAM, BOOM, BOOM, BAM.” (Onomatopoeia) She began screaming. “VICTORIA! UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” (Dialogue) I kept the door locked. I didn’t care. I was pissed to a new level. Why did he have to say something like that? I’m not a user and for the record, I never considered him as my father in the first place. More importantly, I didn’t mean to get my mother involved but I didn’t want to see anyone at this moment. Later on she stopped screaming and yelling. I was left alone for the moment and I began to cool down. Anger still ran through me (Personification) at an all time high. The thought was still swimming (Imagery- Personification) through my mind and I wanted to feel a little less. I felt numb and confused so I went to sleep. That was a waste because I woke up 20 minutes later to the sounds of hollering…

 

…Enough was enough. I swung open my room door and followed the sounds. They were in the basement.  The next thing I hear is “ If she cant respect me then I cant respect her, so Imma’ talk to her any way I want to.” (Dialogue) I hate how he thinks that he is right. He sounds like a child. “But that’s not what she’s saying at all. She just thinks that maybe you should get to know her before you try to be a direct father figure.” (Dialogue) My mom shot back. At that moment, I didn’t even want him to get to know me. Being on a stranger like bases sounded completely fine. Right when my step dad was about to say something, I came down the basement stairs and said, “ She’s right you know. I try to be friendly with you but we all know that you don’t care about me. You only do things for me because it pleases my mom.” (Dialogue). Surprisingly, it got really quiet. And I knew what the silence meant. I had been right. He didn’t give a damn about me. All though I tried to stop them, tears fell out of my eyes. Right there in front of my mom and him. I hated myself for it. Those tears made it seem as if I cared, but they were tears of anger. I felt played. All that time he didn’t care and I thought we were working towards some kind of relationship. I guess I should have expected it, but it shocked me. Why couldn’t he accept me? Why did I have to be so ideal for him? After that, we stopped talking to each other as much as we used to. Now, we barely speak. And I wish the New Year never came. At least last year, words were exchanged no matter how gruesome. Words were words.

My stepdad and I had a rocky relationship. But now that I know he doesn’t care about me, I don’t think there is a relationship.  It may be wrong to feel that way, but after knowing him for a few years and still not being on good terms what am I supposed to think? Maybe in reality we are both being silly. Whatever the case may be, I’m not ready to forgive. If there is one thing I can take away, I can probably say to trust my first instinct. Why? I knew he was a phony but I let the curious side of me win and I wound up getting hurt. Now I know to not be so trusting and to not distribute my respect and love if I won’t be loved and respected back.

 

Revision:

“A Not So Happy New Year.” – By: Victoria Yarbrough.

New Year’s is such a joyous occasion. Being with family, seeing people that I haven’t seen for months, and feeling the triumphant feeling of getting through one more year (Magic Three). However, the “joy” of New Year’s was cut short for me. My step-dad and I had an argument that ruined my New Year’s and days to come. We were all at my Aunt Teresa’s house having a wonderful time seeing family again. Everything was going smooth. We were all dancing, hugging, and eating. (Magic Three)  Like receiving a surprise gift(Simile), it felt unexplainably great to see them again. After the ball dropped and everyone screams “Happy New Year!” (Dialogue) my mom, dad, and I sat down for a while and began talking. We were talking about how glad we were to start fresh and what were our thoughts of 2010.

 

We all agreed that 2010 was a trying year and that we were going to make the best out of 2011. My stepdad and I begin talking about the events of 2010 and how we were going to change. Him and me have had some issues in the past, like all stepchildren I just didn’t feel that he possessed the authority to tell me what to do. This caused sizzling hot (Imagery) arguments, and dark (Imagery) mean words to occur just about every day. How can you expect me to respect you if you don’t even know the first thing about me? And when I asked him this he got upset and began yelling at me. “ Oh, but when I am throwing money in your damn face everything is all cool and I’m your dad huh? But when I tell you to clean your room I’m just a stranger to you”. (Dialogue)  When it’s not even about that, “I just don’t feel that you should be yelling at me when you don’t know the first thing about me.” I replied. (Dialogue) So we drove home. All the while my step-dad is yelling at us. I remained silent while my mom took the backlashes (Imagery) for me. She was trying to defend me and explain my point. I felt helpless and stupid. How could I just sit there and listen to “Shut the Fuck up” (Dialogue), and “You don’t even matter” (Dialogue)? I still look back and think how I should have defended my mom. Seeing her cry made me hate him from an unknown place within me (Imagery). He has me mistaken because I don’t think that way. Why would I? I’m not some self center egotistic manic or a user.

We arrived home and I went upstairs to my room and slammed the door as hard as I could.  With the anger tap dancing inside of me, I picked up an old juice bottle that I failed to throw out some time ago and threw it at the wall of my room. ‘CRASH’ (Onomatopoeia). He hollered at me through the door as if I had no right. I was furious. I was here before him! It’s practically my house next to my mom. Who did he think he was? Sometimes I despised him. The way he paraded around the house as if he was the boss, as if he were my real dad! No! He would never replace my real father who I know for a fact wouldn’t treat me the way he does. I can’t help but have curiosity towards what my life would be like if my real dad was still around. I locked the door of my room so he wouldn’t get in. I wasn’t in the mood for him, not tonight, not on New Years. It was quarter to 2, and my mother began to knock on my door. I didn’t answer. The sound of rushing pounds (Imagery) came to be annoying. Constant bangs against my door. “BAM, BOOM, BOOM, BAM.” (Onomatopoeia) She began screaming. “VICTORIA! UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” (Dialogue) I kept the door locked. I didn’t care. I was pissed to a new level. Why did he have to say something like that? I’m not a user and for the record, I never considered him as my father in the first place. More importantly, I didn’t mean to get my mother involved but I didn’t want to see anyone at this moment. Later on she stopped screaming and yelling. I was left alone for the moment and I began to cool down. Anger still ran through me (Personification) at an all time high. The thought was still swimming (Imagery- Personification) through my mind and I wanted to feel a little less. I felt numb and confused so I went to sleep. That was a waste because I woke up 20 minutes later to the sounds of hollering…

 

…Enough was enough. I swung open my room door and followed the sounds. They were in the basement.  The next thing I hear is “ If she cant respect me then I cant respect her, so Imma’ talk to her any way I want to.” (Dialogue) I hate how he thinks that he is right. He sounds like a child. “But that’s not what she’s saying at all. She just thinks that maybe you should get to know her before you try to be a direct father figure.” (Dialogue) My mom shot back. At that moment, I didn’t even want him to get to know me. Being on a stranger like bases sounded completely fine. Right when my step dad was about to say something, I came down the basement stairs and said, “ She’s right you know. I try to be friendly with you but we all know that you don’t care about me. You only do things for me because it pleases my mom.” (Dialogue). Surprisingly, it got really quiet. And I knew what the silence meant. I had been right. He didn’t give a damn about me. All though I tried to stop them, tears fell out of my eyes. Right there in front of my mom and him. I hated myself for it. Those tears made it seem as if I cared, but they were tears of anger. I felt played. All that time he didn’t care and I thought we were working towards some kind of relationship. I guess I should have expected it, but it shocked me. Why couldn’t he accept me? Why did I have to be so ideal for him? Is it my fault that you don’t like me? After that, we stopped talking to each other as much as we used to. Now, we barely speak. And I wish the New Year never came. At least last year, words were exchanged no matter how gruesome. Words were words.

My stepdad and I had a rocky relationship. But now that I know he doesn’t care about me, I don’t think there is a relationship.  It may be wrong to feel that way, but after knowing him for a few years and still not being on good terms what am I supposed to think? Maybe in reality we are both being silly. Whatever the case may be, I’m not ready to forgive. If there is one thing I can take away, I can probably say to trust my first instinct. Why? I knew he was a phony but I let the curious side of me win and I wound up getting hurt. Now I know to not be so trusting and to not distribute my respect and love if I won’t be loved and respected back.