Love used to be a weird concept to me. I never understood how, in the movies and stories, people could find this perfect person for them, that they would have no issues and live a lavish life until they died. It just felt too unrealistic and untangleable. It made me think that maybe I wouldn’t find my person. I felt that I was just too much and that no one would want that. I would be too loud or too pushy. I felt like I was just an unbalanced person, and no one would want that. In The Handmaid’s Tale, love is a topic that is brought up throughout the story. “We believed in it, this downward motion: so lovely, like flying, and yet at the same time so dire, so extreme, so unlikely.” (pg 225) Offred tells us how people used to think about falling in love. When she mentioned how unlikely it was, it reminded me of how I thought. I thought of falling in love as something that would happen and would be hard to achieve. Offred and I had different views, though. She believed in it, and I had no faith. It shows how love can be shown to people, impacting their views of it.

How I have seen love in the media also didn’t help me. Once I had gotten access to the internet, it showed me a different side. I showed me how women would feel and do when they fell in love. “We were revisionist; what we revised was ourselves.” (pg 227) Similar to into the book, women would change themselves. In the book, the way that Offred said this felt like it was something that had to happen. It was a basic thing to do, and I feel like that is similar to the real world. It isn’t as common as it used to be, but there are still people who change who they are for the person they have fallen for. Being shown this in shows and movies doesn’t help. We see how it made it a common thing to be done in the book, and we see how it is in the real world. With the internet, it also showed me how much people would worry about things once they were in a relationship. “Likely you would think at these times: What if he doesn’t love me?” (pg 226) The amount of worry people have is something that will linger on for years. People will always worry about whether their partner is loyal to them or not. In the book, Offred shows us how these thoughts might manifest and, in a way, how it can impact you. I think that I will experience this. It is something that almost everyone will. The thought of whether they still want you and what they might do if not will always exist. In some way, I can say I relate to it now. I have had my doubts in whether or not my partner still loves me. It is an overwhelming feeling. You don’t know what to do with this. If they don’t, how can you confirm this? You don’t want to ask them straight forward, as it can show that you doubt them and hurt them. I just didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing. I know for sure that the thoughts that Offred showed us will always exist in people, even in me.

With the older that I have gotten, I have started to see love in a different light. I have finally seen the relationships around and saw that they had inperfections. I have even been in one myself. No relationship is going to be perfect. There will be problems and issues, but that is human. Being imperfect is normal. What I have also seen is that not everyone will have just one love in their life. You can love one person at one time and then another later. “Luke was not the first man for me, and he might not have been the last.” (pg 227) Offred says how she wonders if she would have fallen in love again. If Luke was her last love. In the real world, people do exactly what she was thinking. People often don’t end up with their first love. They can have two, three, four, I could go on and on. It is just natural to fall in and out of love. You will eventually find that one you will love for the rest of your life, but it may take time. I know that it is a process that will take its time with me.

Love has changed for me over the years. Once something I thought wouldn’t happen to me did. I had gotten to fallen in love and figured out how it felt. Love is something that can come in many forms. To some, love is family and friends, and to others, it is the one they think will be with them forever. Now knowing how love is to me, I know that I will fall in love again and again, until I find the one. Like Offred, I will have the wonder if the person I am going to be with is the last. But unlike her, I will hope that this is the one.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1483hs48DcEB2he2IG31Tvdel8zYv1l9qgxhHvOltrxI/edit?usp=sharing

Creating this playlist is so powerful, it’s imaging the sound of resistance in a world built on silence. Music represents freedom, individuality, and memory, all things that women like Offred are denied. The five songs I chose capture moments of longing, rebellion, and survival that echo through the novel.

Running with The Wolves by AURORA

When Offred says, “We were the people who were not oin the papers. We lived in the blank white spaces at the edge of print. It gvave us more freedom”(Pg. 57), it reminds me of the wild, defiant spirit in this song. AURORA’s lyrics “Running with the wolves tonight” feels like Offred’s secret self, the part of her that refuses to be fully tamed by Gilead. Even through her body is controlled, her thought still run free. The wolves represent a natural freedom that Gilead has tried to erase. The rhythm of the song builds like the pulse of Offred’s quiet rebellion a reminder that even within “the blank white spaces” there’s life, emotion, and resistance trying to break through.

Caged Bird by Alicia Keys

Offred reflects that “We lived in the gaps between the stories” (pg. 57 ), and that perfectly connects to Caged Bird. Keys sings, “Right now I feel like a bird, caged without a song,” which mirrors the trapped lived of the Handmaids. Their stories don’t get told, they exist in those “gaps,” between what’s written and what’s allowed to be said. Just like the song, Offred can’t sing or speak freely, she’s constantly watched and silenced. But even in her cage, she dreams of flight: “But I know I’ll fly away someday.” That dream of freedom keeps her alive. In Gilead, hope is dangerous, but its also necessary. This song feels like the sound of Offred’s inner voice, quiet but unbroken.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

When the Commander tells Offred, “Better never means better for everyone…. It always means worse for some” (pg. 211), he’s practically describing this song’s entire meaning. The lyrics, “Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back,”sound like what the citizens of Gilead might be told when the regime takes over. The Commanders created a system that benefits themselves under the excuse of mortality, and everyone elsepays the price. The line ¨Helpy me mae the most of freedom and of pleasure”connects to the Commader’s hypocrisy when he sneas Offred to Jezebel’s he’s enjoying ”freedom” while she risks everything. This song exposes the truth behind Gilead’s fake righteousness, that control, not faith, runs the world.

Control by Halsey

Offred finds the Latin message scratched into her closet “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” (pg. 146) and it becomes a secret anthem of strength. Halsey’s “Control” feels like that message turned into music. She sings, “Im bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home,” which echoes Offreds’s feeling of being trapped inside a body that isn’t hers anymore. The line between sanity and rebellion blurs for her as she tries to maintain control in a place where she has none. Like Halsey battling the monster inside, Offred’s fight is both mental and emotional. She can’t shout her anger, but it simmers under every quiet thought. The Latin phrase Isn’t just graffi, its the voice of every women in Gilead saying, “We’re still here.”

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

Offred admits, “I want to be held and told my name. I want to be valued, in ways that I am not.”( Pg. 97) That longing connects deeply with The Night We Met.” The song’s lyrics, “I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you,” sound like her memories of Luke and their lost life together. The slow, haunting melody feels like remembering lovethrought fog, its there but fading. The song also reflects her complicated relationship with Nic, where love ans survival blur. In Gilead, love is rebellion, it means clamin something human in a place designed to erase humanity. When Offred reaches for those memories, she’s not just missing Luke, she’s reaching for the part of herself that Gilead can’t take. This song captures that ache perfectly.

Each of these songs I choose gives sound to the emotions Margret Atwoods leaves unspoken fear, love, rage, and hope. The Commanders may erase women’s voices, but they can’t erase rhythm or memory. When Offred remembers the past, it’s like a song playing in her head, something that connects her to who she used to be.

Running with the wolves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06ht9MyJLT4&list=RD06ht9MyJLT4&start_radio=1

Caged Bird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9_9XbUvfrA&list=RDj9_9XbUvfrA&start_radio=1

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGCdLKXNF3w&list=RDaGCdLKXNF3w&start_radio=1

Control

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8V5dAli-Q&list=RDso8V5dAli-Q&start_radio=1

The night we met

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlgYxa6BMU

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12qi7K_RKfOGFJAtrnxmeGF33CA9WgnvDne-tIN3mpWE/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 19: I chose this chapter because its following chapter 16 where the birth ceremony took place, and 17 where she imagines making love to Nick then envisions his body dead following their failed escape. The rest leading up to 19 is her lying in bed and reliving her past trauma and events of Gilead. Chapter 19 kicks off with Offred dreaming of catching her daughter in a hug before the thought of it sends her into a wave of sorrow; she then wakes up in bed with her mother holding a tray of breakfast. She is stuck in a dream sequence which is making her relive these moments especially during the aftermath of experiencing extreme trauma.

While this might seem like just your usual chapter there is a lot to unpack. The silence and sleep is broken by a birthmobile arriving to take Offred to a birth. Janine is expected to give birth and have her baby. During the ride to the commander’s house Offred wonders if she will give birth to a child with birth defects. This was one of the more confusing parts of the chapter but it shows the effects Gilead has on their person and how many ways that this birth can turn out. Though there are times in the text where they make questionable comments. The birth seems somewhat ritualistic in a sense, women are praying, in the text it states “what will Ofwarren give birth to? A baby, as we all hope? Or something else, an unbaby, its heart or no arms, or webbed hands and feet?” They speak of the possibility of a baby born with a disability as if it is a demon dreaming of an unbaby and wondering if they would be born with webbed feet or a pig snout.

I thought this was note worthy because it shows that they have more or less lost their grip on reality. They treat their day to day life in a cult like fashion and they are showing signs of starting to give into their environment. The lack of the previous normal they once had led them down the path of adapting whether they previously tried to fight it or not. They believe that 1 of 4 women have been poisoned by toxins and environmental pollution and that women outside poison their bodies or get their tubes tied calling these types of women Jezebels, scorners of God’s Gifts. In a classroom Aunt Lydia shows them a graph of how the birthrate has fallen over the course of history, eventually falling under the “line of replacement.” Aunt Lydia said that women who didn’t want to breed were lazy sluts. She claims that childbirth in Gilead is in contrast to the old days, because birth then was entirely natural. When women were not allowed drugs to sooth their pain, because it’s better for the baby, and because god wanted women to suffer in childbirth. The birthmobile eventually arrives at Ofwarren’s Commander’s home and the handmaids are told to go in. Offred imagines the Wives sitting around talking about their Handmaids, calling them sluts and complaining about their uncleanlyness, then chapter ends. The whole point of this chapter is to show us the reality of life in Gilead. We get a look into how skewed and diluted the media they are fed really is.

In chapter 37 of The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred’s commander smuggles her into an underground club. There, she is reunited with Moira, who assumes that she is also an escort. When Offred tells her that her commander snuck her into the club disguised as an escort, Moira says “Some of them do that, they get a kick out of it. It’s like screwing on the altar or something; your gang are supposed to be such chaste vessels. They like to see you all painted up. Just another crummy power trip.” (243) This quote immediately drew me in, as it encapsulates the hypocrisy and control at the heart of Gilead, but also in reality.

My first impression of this quote was how Moira’s blunt cynicism cut through the suffocating oppression that Gilead imposes on communication. She doesn’t speak with restraint, or through some kind of filter, and they are completely un-survailanced in the bathroom. This authenticity emphasizes the truth in her statement. In the book, Moira has always been a symbol of defiance and this encounter reignites that or Offed. For instance, when Offred starts having covert meetings with the commander, she’s agonizingly aware of the power imbalance between them, and how easy it would be for him to take advantage of her. She imagines herself stabbing him in the throat with a piece of metal from the toilet, like Moira threatened to do with an aunt in order to escape the Red Center. That act of defiance mirrors Moira’s situation at the club; it’s not outright defeat, but gritty adaptation that Ofred envies and draws strength from. By escaping the fate of being a Handmaid, and therefore a “chaste vessel”, Moira gets certain freedoms that handmaids don’t get, like slightly more individuality, socialization, and she’s able to drink and smoke. Yet, she’s still used for her body and is abused by Gilead.

Moira’s response also unsettled me because of the way it exposes the commodification of women’s bodies in such a visceral way in our current reality as well. Every Halloween, most “sexy” costumes are portraying people like nuns, schoolgirls, and nurses. These costumes are exaggerated caricatures of women whose roles are supposed to be unsexual, designed to cater to the male gaze. Moira’s line, “they like to see you all painted up,” perfectly captures this, implying that the appeal lies in visually conquering women who are supposed to be off-limits. In Gilead, the commanders preach chastity for handmaids, yet they secretly revel in defiling that purity. This is clearly illustrated by Moira describing Offred’s relationship with her commander as “just another crummy power tip.”—commanders bringing their handmaids to the club is a common occurrence.

As Moira puts it, “it’s like screwing on the altar […] Just another crummy power trip.”; to disregard the sanctity of something for your own pleasure, like “screwing on the altar” is a power move in the context of the patriarchy. That same sexual assertiveness is not expected of women under the patriarchy, which is why we see a lot less “sexy” priests, schoolboys or nurses from men. It’s also why women like Offred are designed to be “chaste vessels,” who are defiled as a power move, which underscores the novel’s critique of religious fundamentalism as a tool for patriarchal dominance. Emotionally, this parallel left me grappling with discomfort, as it forces me to confront how Gilead’s distortions aren’t so far removed from societal norms, making the novel feel urgently relevant.

Building on this, to disregard the sanctity of something sacred, like “screwing on the altar,” isn’t just a sexual act in Gilead; it’s a power trip that reinforces the regime’s control. Women like Offred are designed to be “chaste vessels,” their bodies regulated and objectified to maintain the illusion of moral purity, while figures like Moira, who escape that role, are still abused in different ways—traded for the elite’s entertainment. This reveals how Gilead offers the illusion of choice; both women are exploited sexually, just for different reasons. While Offred is a vessel, Moira is a prostitute. In the end, as Moira points out, both are objectified by their oppressors. Moira’s adaptation at the club might offer her a semblance of agency, but it’s still within Gilead’s confines, which made me question the sustainability of rebellion in such an authoritarian world. What intrigued me most was the irony: Moira, once the epitome of bold escape, now embodies a tempered defiance.

Ultimately, this section lingers with me because it blends personal intrigue with broader discomfort, mirroring the novel’s exploration of purity versus perversion and resistance versus resignation. Moira’s words didn’t just critique the Commander’s actions; they illuminated the insidious ways power corrupts intimacy.

“A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze” (165). My main inspiration for this artwork was this quote and the oppressive nature of Gilead. The maze served as a metaphor for the illusion of freedom that defines life under the regime. There are multiple paths within it, but all of them lead to a dead end. There is no true exit and all paths lead to one of four different areas: Offred (Handmaid), Jezebel’s (Moira), knitting (Serena Joy), and the Colonies. These four spaces symbolize the limited roles assigned to women and the inevitable control the regime has over them, no matter which path they take. In other words, there is no true freedom in this world and these women are confined within the boundaries of maze. Even attempts at escape, as seen through Moira and Offred, are met with different forms of oppression, taking them into one of these areas.

The structure of the maze mirrors the paradoxical logic of Gilead; an illusion of choice is presented to the characters, but ultimately, all paths are predetermined and dictated. The notion of being like a rat in a maze is seen in Offred’s daily experiences. Her situation is one of the “dead ends” represented by the handmaid figure in the center left of the drawing. Even though women are given more protection in this world, they lack protection in comparison to life before the regime: “I think about laundromats. What I wore to them: shorts, jeans, jogging pants. What I put into them: my own clothes, my own soap, my own money, money I had earned myself. I think about having such control” (24). This memory contrasts with her present reality; she is confined both within the Commander’s house and the social implications of her gender identity. Not only has Gilead stripped her of bodily autonomy, she also no longer has the ability to go about simple routines.

The Jezebel’s building was drawn separate from the rest of the maze, yet it’s still within the boundaries of the maze. This visual separation between Moira and the rest of the maze hints at the illusion of freedom that these women have. While Jezebel’s seems like a break from Gilead’s rules, it still remains under its control. This was seen in Moira’s case. While she is no longer one of the handmaids or wives, she is still objectified and controlled. Despite her rebellious tendencies, the regime is able to find a space and way to keep her as part of this society. People like Moira are now seen as forms of entertainment or novelty for men: “Nature demands variety, for men. It stands to reason, it’s part of the procreational strategy” (237). Overall, the situation of these women is unique to their gender and oppression is not present for men. Due to this, the only dead ends depicted in the maze are the experiences that women have in Gilead.

The knitting drawing symbolizes Serena Joy’s life and the lack of freedom that is now present: “She doesn’t make speeches anymore. She has become speechless. She stays in her home, but it doesn’t seem to agree with her. How furious she must be, now that she’s been taken at her word” (46). Similar to Offred’s situation, she no longer has the autonomy to speak her mind and pursue her passions. Notably, her higher position as the Commander’s wife is not relevant in this sense: she is equally trapped in this system as the handmaids are. The ball of yarn itself represents the constant twisting through different parts of the maze just to end up in this continuous struggle with no end.

The last drawing is of a pickaxe, which is associated with the “Unwomen” in the colonies. They are located in the corner of the maze, or the outskirts, highlighting the lack of power they have in the regime. These people are treated less than human, making this the ultimate “dead end” or where this illusion of freedom collapses entirely.

Above it all, there is a single eye…watching. Whether this belongs to the regime’s spies or a divine figure Gilead claims to serve, this eye dictates everything in this world. The absence of color reinforces this notion of control and oppression in this mundane world. By removing the distinct red of the handmaid’s cloak, I wanted to drain every aspect of excitement in this piece to echo the monotony and emotional numbness these characters experience.

In Chapter nine of The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred finds the phrase, “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” carved into a hidden part of her room. The translation isn’t revealed until much later in Chapter 29, when the Commander tells her, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” (187). Despite it being a frivolous phrase for the Commander, it made me think, is it really? This phrase became a symbol of a quiet yet powerful act of rebellion in a society that was designed to suppress independence, hope, and identity. In Gilead, women aren’t allowed to read and write, so the simple presence of the phrase is a brave act. It was a whisper of solidarity among the women who weren’t completely coerced by Gilead, giving Offred hope and comfort that she wasn’t alone, and that there were despite the oppressive system that forbids any independence, hope, and identity among the women. The phrase not only encouraged Offred to internally survive but it could also apply to other characters in the novel who resisted in their own ways, particularly Moira.

Moira mentally and physically embodied resistance and vigor, early on in the novel she’s one of the few women we see that doesn’t fall completely victim to Gilead’s ‘teachings’. Her character is also greatly defined by the interactions she has with Offred, as she often speaks and acts against the government, “I’ve got to get out of here, I’m going bats”(89). She is one of the only known characters in the book to have stood up against the authorities in Gilead having escaped twice. And, despite her first failed attempt in escaping, she tries again, “Moira marched straight out the front door…presented Aunt Elizabeth’s pass… and disappeared” (132). She didn’t let the government, the bastards, oppress her. Moira then becomes a figure that many Handmaids, including Offred, use as a way to project their hopes, “Moira had power now, she’d been set loose, she’d set herself loose… Nevertheless Moira was our fantasy. We hugged her to us, she was with us in secret…” (133). After her evasion, we are left to wonder about what happened to her afterwards.

However, this image of Moira is then shattered by Chapter 37. Offred accompanies the Commander to the secret nightclub, Jezebel’s, a place hypocritical to Gilead’s beliefs where men bring women for sex. There she shockingly spots Moira. Willingly participating in what could be considered a corrupt version of freedom. Offred learned what really happened after her second escape, about the lengths the government went through to keep her from resisting any further to the point where she essentially had no choice but to let Gilead overpower her. Despite her claims, “Don’t worry about me… I’m still here, you can see it’s me,” (249). It’s clear that this moment is supposed to be disheartening for, not just Offred, but the readers as well. Moira no longer is the embodiment of freedom and resistance she once was. Moira’s defeat was a turning point for Offred, her hopefulness converted into dismay. The phrase shifts and becomes more of a wish than a statement.

Moira’s defeat, as well as the conditions of every woman left to work in Jezebel’s, led me to think about what does resistance mean in a society like Gilead? Is it the fact that you get to choose to survive or surrender to survive? Moira who resisted more openly than anyone, was crushed for it. Her defeat is a reminder of the reality of living in a totalitarian government. So, does her earlier acts of protest matter? Even though Moira couldn’t maintain her resistance forever, I like to think that they did, she gave others, like Offred, something, someone to believe in. In cases like these, it could be that resistance won’t always look like victory, but rather the resistance is in the effort that matters most.

In the end, “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” isn’t just a ridiculous phrase, and it doesn’t just apply to one character either. Rather, it represents the spirit of rebellion and resistance that persists even when not taken seriously or in the face of defeat. Even though Moira may have been broken down by the government, her early defiance left a persistent impact, her strength helped others like Offred survive and hope. In Gilead, a place where survival itself could be seen as an act of rebellion, any act of resistance can be powerful. Moira’s experiences are reminders of how in oppressive systems, not letting them break you, may not always mean fleeting, but instead, surviving long enough to inspire others to keep going.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yoyTr39dM9FxACOuFoCzKt3uKmNbagFJSbdVbrfl7og/edit?usp=sharing

Though I’ve written something small about this already, I find the quote “”We thought we had such problems. How were we know to know we were happy?” (Chapter 9) interesting and relatable. Here, Offred struggles through recollections of her past life. As a common occurrence, she fixates on small details. How they were then, how it is now, how she wishes it was different, how she can get through this. She grieves, in a hidden, entirely hidden to the naked eye fashion in which readers can relate. In life, when something feels so intense, so painful, so guttural, sometimes it is better not to feel it at all. Many use their trauma in comparing them to when times were better, to ease or validate the emotions they are feeling in the present. In this quote, we see Offred doing this same thing. She speaks to when her and Luke thought that because they were having an affair and Luke was married, they had big problems, ones that could keep them apart, or cause alienation of them as a couple, to the outside world. This, she says, opposed to now, feels almost like a dream. She wants those problems, instead of these ones. She wants to fight with Luke rather than fight internally with herself in a silenced society. She wants that, those problems, instead of these. She reflects that maybe, just maybe despite those issues prior, that she was happy. Only something she can figure out and feel now, if she truly is whittled down to nothing, to this, to what she is now. As I said in my prior response about this quote, my girlfriend and I were a couple that never fought. The first 365 days (and a little more) we never even raised our voices at each other. We used to make it a point that we didn’t fight, that we were the perfect most healthy couple ever. It felt so good to be so on each other’s level, never have moments of miscommunication, always be on the same page. Looking back, there were probably times we should have fought, but we didn’t. We never did. That said, around our 1.5 year mark, we started fighting constantly. It ranged from real fights that we probably needed to have, to things completely stupid and unnecessary, just for us to get our individual petty points across. During this time in our relationship, I felt so angry at myself, and at how I was handling things. We both felt so out of control of what was happening between us. In some ways, I look back and appreciate this time, thinking it was necessary for us to learn more about each other, and become a stronger couple, but it was so awful in the moment. I remember looking back often at times before this era in our relationship and being so upset that I thought we had problems. That she didn’t understand I wanted this thing then and I didn’t realize when she felt this way at that party. I used to believe that those, those tiny and insignificant things were problems, things we needed to fix and to work through, not knowing that later, we would have real problems and real things we needed to work through together. Just as I took advantage of our first year of no conflict, Offred took advantage of the time and hard moments for granted with Luke. She no longer had Luke at all, not to fight with, not to be angry with. And I, no longer had a conflict free relationship to brag about. Both of us, in obviously very different contexts, didn’t appreciate what we had and how good it was until it was gone and now, it was different. We didn’t take enough time to take in and hold onto those moments prior. It’s heartbreaking to think good memories were wasted worrying about other things, but it’s something that both me and Offred experienced, as I’m sure many readers have. Now, as my girlfriend and I hit our three year anniversary, conflict obviously is still present, as it is in most relationships where you love someone, but it is at an acceptable and helpful level. We have learned to communicate with each other in a way we wouldn’t have learned otherwise, appreciate each other in a deeper sense and love each other with more purpose because of that time we went through together. Right now in the book, Offred hasn’t been able to have an experience like that but I know at some point in her life, she will find that conflict and hardship brings strength and knowledge and though it feels like forever, waiting is the only way to get through it.